/>It doesn’t happen often. I wish it did. My husband and I received a wedding invitation today for a wedding for two people who met through our website. Every time I hear about someone connecting I get such a rush of good feelings. It brings back the memories of when we met through a personal ad on the net in 1994. It’s been a long time, I know, but to us it seems just like yesterday that we couldn’t wait to get a hug. We were 10,000 miles apart and that’s not common, I know.

The wedding invitation is from a couple who met who lived in the same town but had never run into each other. She was a 40 year old single mother with 3 kids and he was 42 and never married, worse yet, he still lived with his parents! Who’d have ever put those two together? I run a dating site and I wouldn’t have done it.

They’ve been living together for nearly 5 years and have decided to get married. I asked DIYgurl why she waited and she said, “oh, no special reason but we wanted to get the pool put in last year and that took all the money we’d set aside for the wedding.”

You hear a lot about the scams running on dating sites and how all the people are fake and nobody gets dates and some of that is true, I won’t lie to you. Some people can’t get a date in their real life either so why they think the Internet is going to give them a personality is beyond me.

About those scams. There are big rooms in countries like the Philippines, Nigeria, Ivory Coast where there are tens of computers set up and people sitting behind them joining dating sites to get people to part with their money, join a porn site or pay money to get to a new country. We’ve had them on our site too and we have one person fully dedicated to kicking them off every day. It’s expensive! Imagine how many paid memberships we have to sell just to cover that person’s costs just to kick out scammers. It drives me nuts every time I think about it. I caught one in our chatroom one day and asked why they come to SexyAds when we made it so clear that we didn’t want them there. The person said, “we come here because there’s no competition.” Ugh!

Anyway, back to the wedding. It’s at the end of October and I’m going to save my money. We got to be good online friends with this couple and I’d love to go to their wedding.

Everyone everywhere says the wrong thing at the wrong time. We all do it and then immediately wish we could eat our words. I have asked an old friend when she was due only to find out she wasn’t pregnant.

There’s a song by an Australian group about wishing to live that day again and most of us can relate to that. When you’re in a relationship, there ARE things that you say that you’ll rarely overcome.

People ask Jayce and I if we ever argue and are we as happy as we appear to be and the answer is yes to both. Sure we argue. We live together and we work together which means we’re together nearly 24/7 and that’s a bit of stress on any relationship, but we seem to thrive. So what’s our secret we’ve been asked.

“Never say the words you can’t take back,” is our reply.

It’s easy to disagree without hurting the other person’s feelings and you’ll both end up feeling respected at bedtime. Concentrate on what you’re upset with, not with the person and you’ll never have to wish you hadn’t said those words.

You can mess up when she asks if you think she’s gaining weight. Even if you get it wrong, she’s not going to hate you. If you say in anger, “You’re nothing but a fat pig!” she’s never going to forget it. Never. Even if you work it out and things seem fine, some words last forever and she will never forget what you called her in anger.

All is NOT lost if you have made a really big oops but you have to hurry. If you’ve said something that’s going to linger for decades and you want to erase it, you have at best, 72 hours to make up for it and not have it etched on your sweetie’s heart forever.

1. Say you’re sorry and that you spoke out of anger and frustration and that you didn’t mean it.
2. Write down what you said on a small slip of paper and put it in your mouth and say that you would eat your words 1000 times if you could.
3. Nothing says I’m sorry better than chocolate.
4. Unless you’ve been REALLY bad, flowers are overkill.
5. Change the linen on the bed and tidy up the bedroom. Leave a note on their pillow telling how much you love them.

If you’ve ever wondered what marketing is all about, especially where dating is concerned, Iamwhoiam posted this on his blog.

You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”

- That’s Spam.

I’ve been examining online dating experience for years, it’s my business to know as much about it as I can. People ask me all the time why two very similar people can have totally different experiences and I have to admit that I’ve been baffled by that too. I used to think it was just that one was more friendly than the other but it’s more than that.

I was chatting with some people last week. One was a guy who visits chat every day, has lots of friends and can’t get a date. I really like him a lot but not as much as another guy who gets every woman he sets his sights on. It’s sat on my mind all week long. Why does one get better results than the other?

When checking their profiles and ads, I think I found a clue. While both profiles say pretty much the same thing, one comes across with tons of energy. I could feel it when I read the ad.

Distinguished (read that older, mature, pot bellied) gentleman seeks exciting (read that not dead from the neck down) woman to have some fun. If you enjoy dining out, evenings with friends, freezing your ass off trying to catch a fish that you probably won’t eat for dinner or lounging in a hot tub overlooking some exotic island, why not send me a note. Your looks are not as important as your ability to smile.

I’m a positive person who wants to have fun as often as I can. Feel the same way? Tickle me.

Attached to this ad was a photo of a man about 47, greying a bit, not in the best physical condition but he has a huge smile on his face. Every mail he sends out gets a reply.

So I decided to ask him why he thinks he’s so successful. He initially said he didn’t think he was but he said he knew we could tell how many emails he got so modesty wasn’t required. He said that when he wrote to a woman, he looked at her profile and while he was writing the email he projected what he was saying to her emotionally.

“The universe is all energy, we’re all energy, the computer runs on energy, so from the beginning, I have sent a little mental note with each mail I send. For lack of a better way to put it, I send a bit of positive energy her way.”

Whoa.. I wasn’t prepared for that.

The Power and Mystery of Energy

I have to admit that I’ve been interested in how the energy of the universe connects all things. Everything on earth vibrates. Music is vibration and it can often be quite powerful. So maybe this guy is on to something.

I began to research a bit more.

The Chinese have been involved in body energy for thousands of years. We in the West have consistently put it down as primitive practices and often because we think our Western medicine is superior. But is it?

The American Indians have known about body energy and how we as humans are connected to the Earth. Again, many consider this to be primitive but is it in fact a more advanced ability?

We’ve all been around people who give off a “vibe”. I know you know what I’m talking about because it’s either a good or bad feeling that we get in our gut but can’t verbalize. We just KNOW it exists. That’s the mystery of energy.

Psychics and others in that realm have known about the energy humans have. It’s no secret to any of them that this guy can send a non-verbal telepathic message to prospective dates, so why do the rest of us resist it? Our religious training and beliefs could be one way that causes resistance. Personally I believe in God but I look at all the things done in the world “In God’s Name” and it makes me want to spit. The God I honor and worship isn’t a hateful God.

If you look at what Jesus said in the New Testament with an eye to how He felt about energy and how we treat one another, it says a lot. He said we can move mountains just by wanting it to happen. That’s energy and vibration, baby.

So if you’re looking for a new relationship through online dating, think about the energy you’re passing along to a prospective new partner. There might be some room for improvement there. Take a page from the guy on our dating site who gets so much action. Use the energy you have at your fingertips.