Have you noticed the increase in the number of people who want spanking to be a part of their lives and their sexuality? Domestic discipline is on the rise and it’s not just males who are the disciplinarians. In these relationships, one partner agrees that the other partner is in charge and there are punishments for every infraction of the rules agreed upon between the two.

I learned about domestic discipline years ago when I met someone who lived this lifestyle. She talked about all the spanking implements that her husband used when she broke the rules. She said that sometimes she’d do naughty things just to get a spanking because she needed the release that the tears would bring.

To be honest, I find the idea personally abhorrent but I’ve learned that it’s my own opinion because there are heaps of people who love it.

Have you been involved with spanking or are you in a domestic discipline relationship? How does it work in your relationship?

A woman wrote to me yesterday about a comment she’d received on her profile. Now she says she’s a BBW and her photos show her as a BBW and she’s never hinted that she’s anything other than a sexy big woman. The guy asked her if she had trouble having sex and wouldn’t she be better off if she lost some weight.

Understandably she was upset. There was no reason at all to send a message, even if it started off with “I’m respectfully curious,” if all it was intended to do was put her down for her size. He ended it with, “Is there no way to tone up a little, for yourself and your pleasure?”

There are heaps of men who love having a bigger woman as their partner. If a big woman wasn’t what this guy wanted all he had to do was “click” and go to another profile. We’re all attracted to something different, that’s why life works so well. Who’d want everyone to be the same?

Imagine if big women started visiting profiles of bald men or or men who can’t spell or men who wear glasses and told them that they’d be more attractive “if only…” They don’t do that because they know the value of respecting another human being — knowing none of us are perfect. I figure any man who has a problem with my size wouldn’t be boinking me in the first place.

Big women get really fed up with people who say, “Oh, you’ve got such a cute face. If you lost a few pounds you’d really be a man target.” Any woman who’s over the average size will have heard a variation of that line. It’s like they’re saying big women aren’t sexy or big women can’t have sex in all positions. I do NOT want to read, “I’m pretty sure the best position for a BBW is on a treadmill.” Got it?

Where romance and sexuality is concerned, women are women. Tall women, short women, skinny women, average sized women and big and really big women are all the same inside. We all have feelings and sexual desires. I’ve heard from women over the past 12 years here who have trouble with some sex positions because they’re too short and I’ve heard the same thing from tall women.

There is no rule that says, “Be thin or be sex deprived.” It’s just not so. Sexy people who want to have sex with each other will find positions that trip their triggers. Nature has it all worked out for us.

A sexy, confident woman is a treat for a man regardless of her size. There’s someone for everyone so if you find one that doesn’t trip your trigger, move on to one that does. Everyone will be happier when you do.

I’ve been doing some reading on infidelity lately because of a comment in an email recently. I was accused of being the “moral police” and frankly I was surprised. I began to think about how I DO feel about infidelity.

Frankly I don’t care what other people do. I don’t walk in their shoes and I don’t think I have the right to make any judgment. I know if my husband cheated on me, it would hurt to the core. I would hope that he could tell me he’s not happy or that his needs aren’t getting met and make a decision on how to go forward or end things. For ME that would be the respectful thing to do.

There are psychologists today who say some affairs keep a marriage together where everyone is getting what they want. The spouse keeps the same situation, the children keep the same situation and the other spouse gets sexual needs fulfilled. Of course there are others who take the high moral ground and say that any infidelity (even online chat) is wrong.

How do you feel about infidelity? Should people be required to give up their home, friends, children and lifestyle in order to get their basic human needs met? Should people be expected to give up everything or give up their sexuality?

My mind keeps thinking about a very good friend of mine who’s gearing up to tell her parents today that her relationship is over. They’ve been together for as long as most people can remember but to most people around her, including her parents, it’s going to be a surprise. I often wonder why we keep the illusion that our relationships are wonderful when they really aren’t?

I also wonder about when we decide that we’re finally going to do something about our unhappiness that it takes “telling the family” before it’s really going to happen? I know in my previous life that once I told my family that I’d been miserable for years with a controlling son of a bitch for a husband that I truly knew I could go through it.

We’re hoping for our friend’s sake that her parents are supportive and will help her start a whole new life. She’ll have a whole new set of friends and she’ll begin to laugh - a lot. The house will be peaceful and friendly.

I’ve suggested that she look forward instead of back and not to worry so much about how he’ll cope but to focus on creating the life she wants.

If you’ve started over, do you have any suggestions for my friend?