So you’ve been chatting with someone you met online. You find yourself attracted to them and you seem to have great chemistry so you both decide to take things to the next step and meet for drinks, dinner or coffee. One great advantage to meeting someone from the internet is the ability to take your time and find out everything you need to know about them before deciding if they are worth meeting face to face.

I know it may seem like a downer to ask questions of someone you click with. The questions may not seem very sexy and they could possibly make them think you’ve already lost their trust or are suspicious of their intentions. The most important thing in life is your health and safety so don’t be afraid to protect yourself.

My list of recommended issues/questions to get out of the way before meeting:

1. Have you recently been test for STD’s?
Anyone can get a sexual transmitted disease. It doesn’t matter how sweet and innocent they claim to be, male or female, regardless of age, location, religion or otherwise. While it doesn’t make someone a bad person because they have or have had an STD, you certainly don’t want to catch something because your mate was dishonest with you or didn’t know they had an STD because they haven’t been tested. If the person you have been chatting with gets defensive about getting tested or refuses to do it I would end your discussions right there.

2. Do you have an acciction/substance abuse problem?
You don’t have to come right out and ask that very question, but you can ask about their drinking habits and if they use any recreational drugs and how often. Many people have substance abuse problems to one degree or another. Some hide their addictions and finding out someone has an addiction can be a very challenging issue in a relationship that you should be prepared to understand.

3. Have you cheated on any of your ex boyfriends/girlfriends?
While it’s true that many people have cheated on their ex’s, not everyone has and someone who has cheated in the past is definately more likely to do it again as it is a reflection on a person’s character. Don’t be afraid to ask if they have ever been unfaithful. If they admit it then at least you know they are honest:)

4. Do you have children?
This may seem obvious, but if you don’t ask they might not tell you for fear you will become disinterested in moving forward. Ask if they have been married and if they have children.

5. Have you ever had a same sex relationship or sexual encounter?
I know this might be an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it will be one of the most rewarding things to find out sooner than later. While most women would think this would be a bonus to know that his girlfriend/wife is interested in women sexually, this may not always be the case. Far more men that most people realize have had same sex encounters or desire to and should not be ashamed to admit it. The same goes for women.

Stay safe out there!

When you’re driving home after work, do you lust for the one you’re with? You should.

I see many married or attached people coming to sites like ours and I have to wonder what happened to the lusty feelings that these two people once had. Why did they allow it to die?

Good sex doesn’t have to be complicated. In the beginning of most relationships couples may stay in bed for hours at a time talking, laughing, having sex, kissing, talking, having sex again, daydreaming, making out and maybe even having more sex. Desire, arousal, and passion – well, they’re seemingly effortless. No complications, couples just enjoy erotic fun and intimacy. So why can’t we keep it like that?

The old saying familiarity breeds contempt could come into play in some relationships. We forget why we fell for our partner in the first place. Can we get that feeling back after being hurt or angered? I don’t know. I do believe that we can get past most unpleasant bits in our relationship because underneath it all is a deep love and respect for one another.

I think it’s really easy to take our partner/spouse for granted. I think we all do it from time to time. Some way more so than others, I might add. Most of us live predictable lives and surround ourselves with familiar people, objects and places. In the beginning it was all new and exciting. Nothing predictable happened because there were so many things to discover about your partner. We stayed in an excited state of mind. We need to keep in mind the value of exciting, pleasurable sex.

It is important to realize that every single day you make a choice about your relationship. Every day that you stay with your partner you “re-choose” them whether consciously or unconsciously – but you do it. Perhaps it’s only to say, “I’ll give it 3 more months,” but it’s a choice none the less. If you think about going home and you feel no lust whatsoever for the person who’s waiting for you to arrive, it’s time to do something about it. Don’t let life slip through your fingers while you wait for things to get better. You can’t change people, you can only change yourself and that changes everything.

I cracked up when I saw the caption to this photo. It was, “Keep it tucked in!” I can only imagine what Her Maj had to say when this photo was published.

I found this on whiteknot.org and I have to say I hadn’t really thought much about the marriage equality until I found out my grandson and the apple of my eye is gay and is living with a really nice man. They’re both university graduates, one’s a lawyer and one’s pretty high up in the political scene. Will they want to marry? I don’t know but after reading this, I hope they can if it’s what they want.

15 Reasons Why Marriage Matters — From Marriage Equality USA

1. Marriage offers 1,138 Federal benefits and responsibilities, not including hundreds more offered by every state.
2. In times of crisis, spouses have hospital visitation rights and can make medical decisions in event of illness or disability of their spouse.
3. Employers offer spouses sick leave, bereavement leave, access to health insurance and pension.
4. The law provides certain automatic rights to a person’s spouse regardless of whether or not a will exists.
5. Married couples in elderly care facilities are generally not separated unless one spouse’s health dictates hospitalization or special care.
6. Married couples are permitted to give an unlimited amount of gifts to each other without being taxed.
7. The law presumes that a married couple with both names on the title to their home owns the property as “tenants by the entirety.”
8. A married couple, by statute, has creditor protection of their marital home.
9. any married people are entitled to financial benefits relating to their spouses, such as disability, pension and social security benefits.
10. With marriage, a couple has the right to be treated as an economic unit and to file joint tax returns (and pay the marriage penalty), and obtain joint
11. health, home and auto insurance policies.
12. When a spouse dies, there is no need to prove ownership of every item in the household for taxable purposes.
13. A child who grows up with married parents benefits from the fact that his or her parents’ relationship is recognized by law and receives legal protections.
14. Spouses are generally entitled to joint child custody and visitation upon divorce (and bear an obligation to pay child support).
15. The mark of a strong family and healthy children is having parents who are nurturing, caring, and loving. Parents should be judged on their ability to parent, not by their age, race, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity.
16. or adults, a stable, happy marriage is the best protector against illness and premature death. Decades of research have clearly established these links. (Burman & Margolin, 1992; Dawson, 1991; Verbrugge, 1979).

All of these rights of marriage I have always taken for granted but if I loved another woman instead of a man, I’d be denied all these things. Does it really hurt any of us if gay people can marry? Seriously? I’m not talking about having them walk down the aisles of every church but what is going to tear down society if everyone has equal marriage rights? Maybe some of us need to be more human and compassionate towards others.