Recently we did a quick poll to find out what age women felt sexiest. We expected to get 19 or 22 but it turns out that the mid-thirties is where it’s at. Women are getting established in their careers, they have come to terms with their bodies and they’ve decided what they want out of life.

Interestingly, the 2nd best age was 54. The comments for that were along the lines of not much worry about getting pregnant, able to tell a man what turns her on and most importantly that she is worthy of every minute a man spends pleasuring her body.

I don’t think there was one year that had no ticks in the box, so that goes to show that a woman can feel sexy at any time in her life. She just needs to put herself as a priority more often. When she does that, everything else falls into place.

How many times do we women ask stupid questions like this? Does it matter? Your ass isn’t going to look smaller unless you’re wearing a loose, free flowing skirt, so why worry about it? We’re all going to wear pants and jeans and shorts because that’s what we feel comfortable in.

Should you ask your husband, partner or boyfriend this question? NO. Firstly because it’s a stupid way to get a compliment on your ass and secondly, if they know what’s good for them, they won’t say yes.

If you are desperately seeking a compliment or some confirmation that your sweetie still thinks you’re wonderful, why not come up with a much more clever way to get what you want. Ask for it.

“Honey, I got this outfit because I thought you’d like it, what do you think?” will work wonders. You have a good chance of getting a compliment on your choice but you also have a chance of finding out what he likes if he doesn’t like this one. It also gives you a chance to let him know that you like dressing in ways that are pleasing to you both.

A close friend of mine has been in what I call a disolving relationship for over a year. They no longer communicate much and when they do it’s barely civil. Why do they stay together? It’s for the children, they say. Of course it is.

I look at these kids who seem to be crying out for peace and happiness. The kids are teenagers so they are pretty cluey as to what’s going on. So what IS the best time to end it? How do you know for sure that there isn’t a chance to save it all?

There is not one best time I don’t think. If you are involved in an unhealthy relationship and that could be a romantic relationship like my friends or a work situation or a bust-up with a family member, don’t wait til you are so negative that you hurt people you love. You might find yourself nitpicking at your kids, no patience with your husband or wife or snappy at work. This is just going to add to the misery that’s your life right now. If you’re in a shit situation, it’s time to remove yourself.

I know when I left home, my kids were teenagers and the week after we left my son said, “Have you noticed how peaceful it is now?” Poor kid felt like he was walking on egg shells for months. I felt terribly guilty.

When you’re in an abusive or unhealthy relationship every day seems a month long. You find yourself on the brink of despair and can’t imagine reaching your goals. Don’t wait til you start believing all the negative words spoken against you because then you’ll need superhuman energy to leave.

If you’re staying for the kids, make sure that it’s what’s best for your kids. It’s not better for them to live in strife and confusion day in and day out. Having them happy with you and happy with their other parent can be much better in the long run. They can’t learn what a loving relationship is where they are.

There is no job worth being unhappy about long term. Every job is pretty crap in some way, that’s why they call it work. If you find that you don’t feel good about yourself or you find you’re forcing yourself to get up and go to work, start looking for another job.

Family is very important but if a family member is causing pain for you, make the split and separate yourself from this person. You can always come back and sort it out down the road, but you’ve given yourself some breathing (and healing) room.

Remember, you are the most important person in your life. Always. When you’re ok, then you have the time, energy and love to give to others and they will be a zillion times happier. There is no joy in being a martyr.

Peace. Love. Out.

Long distance relationships can work.

How do I know? I’ve lived it!

On Sunday morning, J asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with him. I’m on help desk duty at SexyAds.com on weekends so I hesitated for a few minutes before saying yes. I hate to leave even for an hour when I’m on the job, but something in his request told me I should go.

I’m really glad I did. FIFTEEN YEARS ago to the day that I answered his personal ad on the net. I can’t believe it’s been that long because I still find him really sexy and I love him to bits. What happened to the old belief that the passion dwindles but the love increases? It hasn’t happened to us and we’re not very unique, so that tells me that it IS possible to have love AND passion even after 15 years.

I met J when I lived in a little community east of Orlando, Florida. He was in Australia. It took us nearly 3 years to decide that we wanted to live on the same continent but not because we didn’t care for each other. It was a huge leap for me to leave my family and friends and move to a place where I didn’t know the customs and a lot of words are different and the lifestyle is different too.

Any regrets? Absolutely not. I still miss my family and new grandchildren have come into the world without Granny there, so there are sacrifices in any relationship where one person has to move to be with the other.

If you’ve been wary about pursuing a long distance relationship, take my advice. It’s much better to have the right person than a close person.