Has your relationship gone a bit stale? Lost a bit of excitement? He’s not worshipping you like he did before? Spice up your love life with your own strip tease just for him.

The title of this post was the subject line in an email I received over the weekend. It’s been a long time since I heard the phrase double bagger but I knew instantly what the guy meant. For those of you who’ve been living under a rock for decades, when your date is so ugly you have to put a bag over her head just to have sex with her – well a double bagger is when you put a bag on your head too just in case hers falls off.

Have you ever met someone online who fudged the photo a bit? Oh hell, have you ever met someone for the first time after you’d exchanged photos and couldn’t tell which one she was in a crowd? That’s what happened to Larry. This woman had sent him a photo of herself when she was in high school. Just testing the water, apparently. Then she sent a photo when she was 25 or so. She’d put on a few pounds but was still fairly attractive. That’s it, she’s now 38, she says, and couldn’t wait to meet him.

They agreed to meet at Starbucks and he arrived right on time. He waited. He waited some more. He looked around and there was one woman sitting alone and she was looking around too. Could that be HER, he thought? Surely not. This woman was at least 50 and weighed nearly 250 pounds. The woman in the photo weighed maybe 145. His back was to her and he’d not caught her eye, so he decided to wait some more.

A few minutes later he turned around and she was looking at him at the same time and smiled with joy at recognizing him and waved for him to come over.

He said it was the longest walk in his life.

Not because she was “fucking ugly” but because he was deceived. (I’m sure fucking ugly probably had something to do with it!)

When asked why she looked so different from the photo she’d sent him, she said that if she’d sent him a current photo he wouldn’t have shown up. (no duh)

So that leaves us with the question, what DO you do with a double bagger situation like that? Do you put everything in the past and go on to find out if the person is really nice after all or do you get up and walk out because you feel deceived?

I thought about it for about an hour and decided that if it happened to me, I’d stay and see if there was anything about this person that could get me interested even if it was just for friendship. I think we learn something from everyone we meet and we usually learn something about ourselves too.

What did he do? He left. He said he was probably rude when he told her that if she’d trusted him enough beforehand he’d have still met her because he really enjoyed their communication. He told her that if a friendship didn’t have trust it had nothing and he turned around and walked out.

I don’t know about you but I’m just sick to death of the spam mail about penis enlargement pills or gadgets or whatever it is that makes your penis as long as the garden hose. I’m also sick of cialis and viagra ads in my mailbox. I really don’t think if I took either one of those that I could stay hard all night long. Not without a penis implant!

As I was deleting about 35 spam mails for a bigger penis or a harder penis my mind started to wander. If I could take a couple of pills and turn into a man, would I do it?

I’m very comfortable as a woman. I like having soft skin and I like nurturing and spoiling my husband, but.. if I could try it for a day, hell yes I’d try it.

Would you change sex if you could?

Back to spam.

I think if I acted on every email from the wife of some dead diplomat in Nigeria, Ivory Coast or probably most any African country I would have enough money to buy and sell you three times over. Just in today’s mail I could have easily had $500,000 from Mrs. Verne Tobali and all I need to do is give her my bank details and the money is mine. How easy is that? I don’t know why I distrust them, after all the email said, “Dearest Beloved One” after all. She must know me well.

A friend of mine who’s studying for a masters degree in nursing wrote to me about how a man can avoid a hiatal hernia during sex. If you’re a man who tries to delay his orgasm in order to make sex last longer, you might not be doing yourself any good. The muscle in your abdomen that you use to hold back from ejaculating can cause a hiatal hernia. It’s much better to go ahead and rip off a Big O and the come back later and go at it again.

His instructors also said it’s important not to lift a woman during sex because that also can cause serious abdominal damage because your mind is on sex and not on the heavy lifting. The more you know, the better able you are to avoid any health risks of sex. Sex is too much fun to hurt yourself unnecessarily!