This is a really touchie subject for a lot of people because depending upon which partner you ask, they are both right. If the husband is flirting online the wife feels betrayed. I can understand how she’d feel that way, too. He’s talking about intimate subjects with another woman when he should be talking to his wife. Then you talk with the husband about why he’s spending time with another woman online and the anger blurs a bit. Here’s one guy’s reply to me:

I’m a happily married man in most every aspect of my life, every aspect except my sexual life. There is none. My wife loves me, of that I’m sure, but she doesn’t want me in the way that a woman can want a man. She says she’s too tired or not feeling well or one of the kids might come in and didn’t already we do this one day this week? That’s not enough for me.

I won’t physically cheat on her but aren’t I entitled to some bit of intimacy in my life? She can’t say we haven’t talked about it, we do all the time - til I’m as blue in the face as I am in the balls. She ends up calling me a pervert for wanting sex a few times a month. I’m not obsessive about it but it feels really really good to be physically loved that way.

So I chat with women online. Some are like me and their husbands are no longer interested in sex or they’re single mothers who feel stuck at home all the time but aren’t dead from the waist down.

So what do you do? The comment could just as well have been from a woman because the cheater is not always male. Are they wrong? If your partner doesn’t want you even a few times a month should you give up on a sexual life forever? Personally I couldn’t imagine it. Two bodies - skin to skin, moving together in joyful harmony - don’t get me started or we’ll be here all day!

If you’re worried that your partner or spouse might be having an online affair which *might* break into real life there are a few questions to ask yourself to see if your relationship might be at risk. If it is, have a good look in a mirror to see if there is any reason you might take the blame for their needing affection and intimacy from outside the relationship. (this is not always the case, there are heaps of serial cheaters out there, so I’m not blaming every spouse for what their other half does!)

1. Does your partner use chatrooms more than an hour a day?
2. Do you find yourself in bed alone waiting for a cuddle while your spouse is talking with someone else?
3. If you walk in on them while they’re chatting do they immediately change windows?
4. Do they only chat when they’re in a room alone?
5. Do they spend more time on the computer than they do with you and the family?
6. Do they come to bed so late that getting up for work is difficult or they’re grumpy because of lack of sleep?

If you could answer yes to a few of these then chances are your spouse is looking for intimacy online. Remember that they aren’t meeting someone in person but for many that’s a small consolation. Get the mirror out and see what you could do to show that you are still in love and want to get that spark back into your relationship. There are plenty of ways to get some attention but that’s a post for a different day!

The Inuit Eskimos certainly got it right when their word for sex means “laughing in bed.” When most people describe their ideal partner it’s “funny, sexy, good sense of humor…” so do you laugh and enjoy yourself during sex? If you’re always really serious about sex, try one of these new positions - upgrades from the old Kama Sutra book of love.

Cowboy Style - Once you’ve started having sex, tell her that her sister was a better lay and try to hold on for 8 seconds.

Snail Mail Style - Like cyber or phone sex but it takes longer and one usually loses interest.

Plumber Style - Stay in all day and still nobody comes.

Corpse Style - Get on do the job and get off without waking her up.

Tavern Style - Liquor at the front and poker in the rear.

Doggie Style - The woman rolls over and the man begs.

Redneck Style - Pants at your knees and shoes still on.

Big Mac Style - Put a quarter pounder between her buns.

Frigid Style - He lays there and she lays there and nothing happens.

Interview Style - You lie and cheat and pretend to be someone else to get in.

Question Style - Where you often have to ask, “is it in yet?”

Sports Sex - The female tries to mount the male while he’s watching his favorite football team. Imagination and flexibility is a definite plus.

Personal Development Style - Do it yourself.

Hallway Style - As you pass in the hallway you say, “fuck you.”

Billiard Style - Take his stick and move the balls around til something goes in a hole.

Football Style - Always try to come from behind.

Chicken Style - Always go for the biggest cock.

6.9 Style - A great position screwed by a period.

Orange Style - Playboy magazine, porn video and a bag of Cheetohs.

Bomb Style - Before he wakes up she blows the hell out of him.

Make Believe Style - You imagine sexual things you’d love to do and then tell your friends you’ve done them.

Hacker Style - Always use the back door.

Golfer Style - Give the balls a good whack, chase around in the bush for a while and make several attempts at the hole.

Pinnochio Style - Sit on his face while he tells lies.

77 Style - Same as 69 but you ate more times.

Electrician Style - Lie about the size of the job.

Iraq Style - He’s got a weapon of mass destruction but she can’t find it.

Loner Style - Your lover comes with her own automatic inflater.

Leave a comment with YOUR favorite style!

I think I have found the dumbest reason to have a website. Ok maybe it’s not THE dumbest but it sure as hell comes close.

It mooaaaaaaans your IP as if your IP was having sex. Now I don’t know about your IP but mine just sits there. Who knew it could bring out those sounds in another woman? I know, you’re thinking of getting a few proxies just so you can listen to new numbers. What a way to get off. Get out of here - pervert.

LOL

Does poop bother you? If yes, it’s ok if you skip this post as it’s intended for open-minded adults who are interested in or curious about anal sex.

Anal sex can be awkward, especially the first time when you’re anxious and want everything to be sexy and pleasurable. Lots of people are curious and have questions about anal sex, but it’s not for everyone, especially if one partner is doing it only to please the other. That won’t work and if it doesn’t, relax, there are lots of other ways to express your sexuality.

Still with me? Then on to a brief overview of a couple of techniques that will help you to get it right the first time.

As a woman, obviously these techniques are written from my perspective, but can be used on any eager and willing asshole.

Start Anal Sex Slowly

You must both be “in the mood” for any anal action to happen! If you aren’t turned on, it’s just not going to happen, so start out with a nice relaxing bath or shower together just to get her motor going. For me, 15 minutes of cuddling and passionate kissing makes my body beg for sex. Some women prefer oral sex. Whatever does it for your partner to ache for you, that’s what you’ll do first.

There comes a point during foreplay when I woman just needs to be fucked. She’ll tell you she loves you, she’ll tell you that she’s ready, she’ll tell you that she NEEDS you or she’ll be straight forward like me and say, “fuck me.” This is the clue you’ve been waiting for.

Get the lubricant. Get more lube. (if you prefer to use a condom or latex glove, put it on before you get the lube - sometimes this helps with penetration.) Press your finger against her anus and stimulate there for a bit. Don’t rush things, there is no hurry and the time clock isn’t running. Keep her relaxed and uninhibited. While you’re rubbing her anus tell her how sexy you think this is and how it’s turning you on to see her dripping wet. You can keep her in this state by other sexual stimulation like rubbing her clit with the fingers of your other hand or putting a couple of fingers in her vagina.

The sensations will start to come together and she’ll really get into the sensation of rubbing her asshole rather than being nervous. When she starts to moan, insert that finger into her ass slowly. Pull out your finger and push it in a few times and if she’s still ok, insert finger #2. This might be a bit more painful than the first finger, so go slowly and she’ll let you know how it feels. If she’s the adventurous sort, now is the time to try a small anal vibrator to really get her excited back there.

Anal penetration. Take my advice and wear a condom. Even if you know this woman and have been with her forever, it’s not the cleanest part of her body. Trust me, she’s tight enough back there for all the sensations to come through a condom! What you want is the enjoyment of anal sex, not an infection that will last after the experience is a fond memory.

Slowly, and I do mean slowly, push your penis against her anus. Her body will accomodate you and won’t be painful if you take it slow. I know you want to get in there and have a good time, but if you want to re-live this experience, make it good for her too. One idea that seems to work better is for her to be on top and sit on your cock and take it as SHE wants it. You don’t want any rectal tearing or bleeding to dampen the excitement. Once you’re in all the way and there’s no more discomfort for her - fuck each other’s brains out. You might find it incredibly tight and she might find that she really doesn’t like it after all or you both might think this is the best sex ever. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you two were sharing a new sexual experience and a new sexual high.

Clean up time. When you finish - take a shower together and wash all the important bits with soap and water and dispose of the condom or gloves carefully.

Important Notes:

- If something goes wrong please don’t be embarrassed to go to a doctor asap! Anal sex, especially if done roughly, can cause real medical problems. If she has abdominal pain, more bleeding than you’d get if you passed a humongous poop or if he has itching or burning of his penis - see a doctor. This isn’t going to be the first time they’ve seen it, I promise!

- Don’t make a big deal about any poop on the condom. Remember she’s let you in to a very private part of her body and if you embarrass her you won’t get there again!

- Some women use enemas to clean out the back passage before anal sex or take laxatives. If a bit of poop from the place where poop lives bothers you, then anal sex is probably too dirty for your mind to get around.

- If you don’t succeed the first time, don’t give up. If she’s willing to try again, go for it. Some women take a few times to get comfortable with the idea physically OR mentally. Maybe just use your finger the first time and maybe get to the vibrator on the 2nd try, then move to two fingers - each time ending with terrific “regular” sex.

- Don’t ask for anal sex to always be a part of every sexual experience. Regardless if you both had an excellent time, many women like to enjoy anal sex as a special occasion experience. That said, some women love it and want it every time you drop your undies.