So many people lie about their age, especially on the net - I’m really surprised by the high incidence. I didn’t realize it until someone in the chatroom asked me my age and I said 59. His reply? “So, it’s really 63 or 64?” I suppose I should have said, “it’s none of your business” or “look it up on my profile, stupid,” but I just blurted it out. I’m not ashamed of my age — it’s certainly made me the person I am today.

Over the years I can count heaps of people who have asked for advice after they’ve lied about their age. For instance, a guy lies about his age (honestly, liars are 50/50 in the gender mix) and ends up getting a reply to his ad. Things progress to a real life meeting and then what does he do? He writes to us for advice. There is no easy solution because no matter what happens, the other person knows you’re a liar. If you’ll lie about your age to get a date or get noticed or for whatever reason you justify lying, you’ll probably lie about more important issues as well.

I’ve seen a lot of successful people who are young at heart write something like — I’m 57 but I look and act 45. This tells the person reading the ad or bio that you don’t look your age, nor do you act or even feel that age. Then there’s nothing to cover up.

I remember one guy that lied was in England and his online sweetheart was American. She was late 30’s and he said he was 35. Turns out he was over 50. They had a hot, lusty email and chat affair and she was totally smitten with the guy. She got up her courage and said she was going to fly to England to meet him. What was he going to do? He knew he’d really screwed things up so he did the only thing he could think of — he died. Not a real death, just a cyber death. The woman wrote to me and I could almost touch her pain. His uncle had found her email address on his nephew’s computer and he wanted to let her know. She wrote to me, she even asked for my phone number so she could talk with me.

I’m not a spring chicken and I had my doubts. When I asked if she was sure he died, she could have put needles in my eyes for sure. How could I treat her AND his memory like that? Well, when you own the site, you have access to the login details and he’d logged in after he died, so either he was way more clever than other people who’ve died or he was doing a bit of fakey fakey.

Then, within a few days after his umm.. funeral, who should join our site but his uncle. Turns out his uncle is a bit over 50 and realizes how smart his nephew was to have found such a wonderful young woman. You can guess the rest. He wanted to meet the woman and thank her for being so kind and loving to his nephew. From the back end I could see that he was coming in from the same IP as his “nephew” and was logging in to both accounts.

When the woman told me she was going to send money to help pay for the funeral, I had to say something and told her the facts that I had. She confronted him over the phone and he admitted that he’d lied about his age and couldn’t tell her so he had to kill himself, internetically speaking.

So, if you’re thinking about lying about your age, remember this guy and spare yourself an early online death. You’ll be much happier and you’ll meet much better people who will appreciate your honesty and character.

It’s the old nature or nurture question I suppose, but how does a woman get to the point where she and others consider her a whore? Mind you, I’m not saying that a whore is a bad thing at all. I make no judgments of others, but it’s a curious question to me.

Several years ago I met a call girl (that’s what she called herself) through a friend. My friend and I were having a drink at a local club and this woman joined us for a short time and was very candid about what she did for a living. She’d grown up in a middle class environment and finished high school and had done some college courses.

When I asked how she got started and was it a difficult decision the first time. She said she thought about it for maybe 20 minutes and came to the conclusion that if she was careful with her health she could earn more money lying on her back for 2 hours a day than 4 of her friends combined were earning in their regular jobs.

So then I asked if it was all about the money? What about the sex? She said she could never have done it even the first time if she hadn’t really felt that sex was way more recreational than it was procreational. I decided to ask a few more personal questions because, face it, I was dying to know.

Did she have any sexual activity that she would not engage in? It turns out that yes, there were several things that she didn’t enjoy and wouldn’t participate in. She didn’t like group sex, she didn’t like sex with another woman and she wouldn’t do anal sex. I was a bit surprised by this because I thought a whore would do anything just to reach that sexual high, regardless whether there was money involved or not.

She had to leave for a scheduled appointment or I’d have kept asking questions all evening long. It left me always wondering if she’d been born to be a whore or economic circumstances put her in a position where sex was the best job she could get.

I received the most amazing email this morning from someone I met online a couple of years ago. They met through our website, fell in love and eventually moved in together. We were thrilled with their success. Today she has a problem and has asked for my advice. Here’s her story:

When we first got together we humped like bunnies every single day and sometimes every single night. After a while I noticed he was staying on the net until after my bedtime. I knew he was surfing but I didn’t know he was cybersexing other women on MY time. I know he visits porn sites and some of them are kinkier than I am, but that never bothered me because I think a lot of men enjoy porn. I’ve tried staying up later hoping that once he got his fill of porn he’d look for me, but no go on that one.

Now he only wants me, the real thing, about once a month. It’s always morning sex, it never lasts very long and never happens if it’s too hot. It’s like my needs don’t exist any more — not like it was when we first met. He gets almost angry and defensive if I say anything, telling me that he’s not a machine after all.

Any idea how I can get him back? I still love him and want the relationship to last.

Wow. So much for how the Internet has changed sexuality. Here’s my reply:

I know many men view porn then expect their partner to be ready for sex when they come to bed. This is insensitive and insulting, but I wonder if it’s because they are having trouble with their erection and need extra stimulation. Your partner’s behavior is inexcusable.

When you say that he enjoys kinkier sex than you do, that can come across as a put down and judgmental on your part. It’s obvious that things that arouse him are unacceptable to you and he must sense this. So he deals with it by being secretive and separate from you. He excludes you so he doesn’t have to feel bad. Think about this rationally and you’ll understand that what excites him isn’t necessarily bad or perverted, it’s just not what turns YOU on.

Back to his behavior toward you. Why have you put up with it so long? Do you think you deserve to live a sexless life? Perhaps you feel that you’re the good partner and he’s the bad? This in no way assumes that any of this is your fault, but by allowing his behavior, you have taught him how to treat you.

If you want to live a sexually fulfilled life, you must confront him. You have accepted the status quo for too long. You lament the fact that he doesn’t understand your needs, but you’ve never insisted that he do so. You have permitted his selfishness.

Don’t attack him about his web activities. In some way that’s his business. He’s already feeling some discomfort and will become defensive or shut down communication completely. You must question whether this relationship is worth saving for both of you. It’s not possible to save it if you both can’t say it’s what you want. If he doesn’t commit to working things out, you need to question what the relationship offers to you and why you want to stay when he doesn’t.

It’s time you were treated with respect and dignity. It all starts by feeling worthy of respect and dignity.

Spammers are getting a sense of humor.

Now that you’ve found a gal that’s hot
You wanna plough her dripping twat.

So try today this wonder-pi’ll
And change your life at your own will!

Honest, don’t you feel better for reading that?