I got an email today from a woman who told me that her partner that she’d been with for nearly 2 1/2 years was under a lot of pressure at work and got drunk and had sex with a co-worker. Not only that, but he continued to see her until his partner caught them together. She said he broke down and cried like a baby and apologized and said he would never see the woman again if only he could be forgiven.

Will he cheat again?

I suspect the guy cried because he got caught and all the excitement from a clandestine relationship was flying out the window. If all it took was a bit of stress and some alcohol to trigger this episode, then sadly, I have to say what’s past is prologue and he’ll cheat again when the conditions are right.

Does every cheater cheat again and again?

No, it’s not 100% certain that it will happen again and only you can answer the question of whether you give him (or her) another chance. If it happened to me and I really loved him, I’d give him another chance. I know it’s risking putting my heart on the table and waiting for the knife to stab a big fat hole into it, but that’s the sort of person I am. If I got cheated on twice, I’d take the knife and chase him until I cut his nuts off to go on my keychain.

Only a few people I’ve known have ever been rejected by someone, so why do so many people fear rejection?

So often I hear people talk in the chatroom or read forum posts where they’ll say that they are so uncomfortable with rejection that it’s easier just to walk away than make the attempt. Then some go on to say that’s why they love meeting through the internet because through the anonymity the feel, there is no fear of rejection. That’s all well and good but at some point you need to meet face to face or the rumpy pumpy action that we all love so much is never going to happen.

Sure, whenever you decide not to contact someone or decide not to ask someone out, those fear feelings in your gut go away instantly, but what’s left is that sinking guilty feeling of knowing how much better your life would be with a special person to share it with.

What’s all wrong about this is that you’re worried about the fear more than the rejection. Most people are not rude or crude if they aren’t interested, they simply say no thanks or come up with an excuse that limits their own risk of confrontation. So it’s the fear you need to conquer not the rejection.

Next time you want to ask someone out (and this applies equally to men and women) go for it. Don’t think about being rejected and if you’re turned down with a no thank you it’s not a rejection of you. Trust me, you’ll get over it in less than 15 minutes. It will hurt less than getting a parking ticket and will cost much less. You put that experience into your bag of tricks and move on to a scrumptious new target. Just as some people don’t interest you, you are not rejecting them, only choosing to select someone who better fits your ideal mate.

The important thing to remember is, you’re never going to get anywhere until you conquer the fear.

Those silly Canadians.