Ok, as you all know, I run a large adult dating site and we have lots of members looking for new partners. Over the years I have been amazed that so many men think that if a woman feels sexy she must by definition be a slut. It drives me nuts. Our site is so mild compared to others in our niche. We exist to acknowledge that sex is a part of every healthy relationship. It’s not all of a relationship, nor is it even a huge part, but we consider it to be one of the most important parts.

We started SexyAds after my husband and I met through a personal ad on the net in 1994. The WWW didn’t exist in Orlando at the time, nor was it in my husband’s town in Australia. We met through a newsgroup and then chatted on an old MUD chatroom. It was certainly “the old days” of the Internet. We had both been through a sexless marriage and were both determined that our next relationship would have a healthy dose of passion and intimacy. I’m not talking about sex, sex, sex, but a relationship where there are lots of hugs and kisses and ass patting and smiling at each other. Fortunately we found it.

I traveled 10,000 miles for our first date and I’d do it again tomorrow. Fast forward and now nearly 14 years later, we’re still kissing, hugging, smiling and we don’t miss out on the ass patting either.

So why do these men write to perfectly normal women who consider themselves sexy and say things like, “come fuck me and then leave, we’ll both be happy”? They wouldn’t say that to a strange woman in the grocery store — but I suppose the anonymity of the net makes everything seem ok. It’s not.

A woman who’s been on our site for about 4 months wrote to me today and was very upset because she was clear in her ad that she considered herself to be really sexy and wanted a man that would encourage that side of her. She said she did not want to get any photos except face pics. But what did she get in yesterday’s mail?

“I can encourage your sexy side you fucking slut. If you want to be trained in sex I’ve got the hardware.” To prove it he sent a private photo of his dick.

I just shake my head in wonder sometimes. These same men who write this shit then complain to us that we don’t have any real women. The “real women” who would answer emails like those are about .00038% of all women seeking relationships. Most women just delete the offensive emails and move on.

If you’re a guy and you’re looking for a woman for any kind of relationship, it’s all about respect. The men who treat women well, get most of the dates. I’ve seen men in our chatrooms and forums pick up dates left and right, because they pay attention to what the women want. If a woman considers herself sexy — relish, nurture and treasure that and she’ll stay sexy forever.

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. ‘I’d love to be eight again’ she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early and made her a bowl of Teddy Grahams and a peanut butter and jelly toast!

He took her to the local amusement park and put her on every ride in the park: * The Death Slide * The Wall of Fear * The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster and more.

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away they went to a McDonald’s where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milkshake.

Then it was off to the movies: the latest Kiddies three hour epic cartoon, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, plus candy!

What a fabulous adventure! The man was thrilled to bits to give his wife just what she wanted for her birthday.

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked ‘Well dear, what was it like being eight again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed to one of total realisation…’I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!

The moral of this story: Communication… Even when a man is listening, he’s still gonna get it wrong…..

Every once in a while I cover for one of the support staff and that’s what I’ve done for much of the day today. (Nobody ever needs a day off during the week but weekends - there’s often a drama.) I can’t get over what some people write as an advertisement to lure a prospective partner.

I like haveing if your in get messy or mudy or like to go fishing let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only wouldn’t I respond to it but frankly I haven’t any idea what it means, other than the fishing. He’s probably a lovely guy but he’ll get nowhere with an ad like that.

laddies I have the best toung so you sweat things start writing

Hold me back! I might be a sweat thing but geez.. we offer them a spell checker and they’re too lazy to use it. We even turn it on by default.

I am seeking man which love me forever and is kind and have good job and I will take care of him and be sex with him

Can you say scammer? Why men fall for these I don’t know. We delete them every time we see them and we read every ad so not many get by us. I can imagine a smoky room full of men in Kiev all creating ads on every dating site imaginable and then telling the respondents how badly they need a new pair of jeans or perfume or need money to help their sick child. Bleh!

Most people on dating sites are people who you see at the grocery store or the beauty salon.. they’re real. They have bumps and blemishes and they’re quite wonderful. Just use your head and please - I really mean please, read your ad before you hit the final submit. You’ll thank me later.

What is it with some people when they fall in love? We see our friends and family falling in love with twits and jerks and floozies and no matter what we say, they can’t see it. Turns out there is a real biological reason why we can’t see the faults in those we love. If we could easily see the faults of our lovers, the ardor we feel would reduce and we wouldn’t want sex with them any longer and without sex there aren’t any babies and without babies, the species dies.

I have this friend, I’ll call her Sarah because if I used her real name she’d kill me. Sarah is dating a really handsome man but that’s all he’s got going for him. Sarah has family money, a good education, she has her own medical practice and she’s attractive. The guy is a total dork. He has a crappy job that he always complains about and when you see them together he’s always putting her down. I made a comment about it the other night and she told me I was dreaming. She honestly couldn’t see it and didn’t want to hear about it so I shut up.

All I could think of was my really good friend Sarah was seriously head over heels for this money grubbing lout of a man. I do realize that he is her choice and that she loves him just as he is. I take comfort in knowing that the heat of the affair will dampen and she’ll see him for what he is. She’s a bright woman and I fully expect her to call me in about 6 months to tell me that she’s thrown his lousy butt out.