I know the story seem silly now but at the time, the people involved were quietly contemplating bodily harm I think.

A few years ago a guy in Missouri met a woman on our site. He wooed her for weeks with great emails, long conversations in chat and a bit of videochat too. He sent her flowers, he called her on the phone, he sent pictures of himself, his house and his dog and for good measure he even sent her a slinky nightgown to wear on the first night they met. He was convinced they were madly in love.

When he could stand it no longer, he sent airline tickets to his sweetie and then did the waiting game for 3 weeks.

She was flying from Florida to Missouri so it wasn’t a long flight but he was at the airport in plenty of time to meet the plane. The plane was a bit late and he was getting irritated and then it was even later and he began to get angry. By the time her plane eventually landed 2 1/2 hours late, he was in quite a state. She walked off the plane to meet a very angry man. He seemed to blame her for being late and wrecking his plans for the day.

She kept her mouth shut and went on to get her luggage and then went to the car. He didn’t help her with her suitcase and left it up to her to put it in the trunk of the car. He took her to his house and then wanted sex as soon as they got inside the door. He said it would “calm him down.” She refused. She said that she wasn’t that sort of woman and she needed time to get to know him before wanting to see him naked. This only irritated him even further.

While he was busy in his office, she began playing with his dog and after about 20 minutes she went to his office to see if he wanted to talk. No, he didn’t want to talk but he’d see her at 7:30 when he took her to dinner. She was dumbfounded. This was the man she was convinced she was in love with. He must have felt the same way, although I’m not sure why.

Dinner time came and they got in the car and all the way to the restaurant he told her how disappointed in her he was. He expected her to rush into his arms and they’d make wild, passionate love the instant they got to the house. He neatly forgot that he was furious when she landed and he would never have accepted so much as a hug when she arrived. By the time they got to the restaurant, she was in tears.

They got their menus and he told her what she would have to eat. She said she didn’t like fish and would prefer chicken or just a veggie plate. No, he was buying and he was deciding and if she didn’t want to eat it, then that was her tough luck, she could go hungry. A bell went off in her head and she was afraid and knew she had to do something. She excused herself to go to the restroom and called a friend she’d met online who’d told her to call if there were any problems. (It’s always good to have someone who knows where you are when you meet a stranger for the first time.)

The friend said she was silly for staying so long and he’d pick her up in 5 minutes outside the restaurant and off she went. She flew home the following day - leaving her suitcase at the former boyfriend’s house. She didn’t want to see him again.

So far it’s a sad story and one that is probably repeated occasionally around the world when people meet for the first time, but it’s not the end of the story. Oh no, the man was decidedly unhappy that she wouldn’t eat the fish he ordered nor would she have sex with him after he PAID for her fare there. Frankly, he was irate about how he’d been used. He decided to sue her to get the money back. He’d given her the tickets for a reason and she spent her time with someone else, therefore she was a fraud.

A lawyer really did take the case and went to court. She didn’t appear because she thought (stupidly) that it was a joke. She couldn’t believe a lawyer would take a case like that nor would a judge think her guilty, but there you go. She should have defended herself but just as she couldn’t afford the airfare to Missouri, she couldn’t afford a lawyer to defend a case she thought was silly.

The judge declared her guilty and fined her the amount of the tickets plus more for pain, suffering and humiliation at the hands of this woman.

When she refused to pay it, the court garnished her wages. When her wages were garnished, she lost her job.

You’re thinking it, I can tell.. Yep, it was OUR FAULT for having this guy on our site. She wanted us to “fix it” so she didn’t have to pay the money back and she wanted us to “fix it” so she could get her job back. We should, she said, because it was going to look really bad for us when it went to the news. All we could think of was how could we affect a court’s decision and how could we convince her employer that her wages were garnished for no valid reason. We couldn’t do it.

We apologized to her and we removed the guy as a member of our site because we didn’t want that sort of thing to happen again. I can see how paid sex workers would be expected to have sex once the bill has been paid, but what woman meeting a man for the first time thinks she MUST have sex with him because he paid her airfare there. What a dickhead! A woman ALWAYS has the right to say no, just as he has the right to say no to sex.

Have you ever met someone through the net and wondered if they were being honest? My personal experience is different but I’ve heard from enough people who’ve met people that they had a feeling they were lying about something.

Don’t spend one minute with someone who’s not on the up and up. There are too many good ones to saddle yourself with a loser. When you are ready to meet someone for the first time, here are some clues to watch out for.

Body Language

• The person will make little or no eye contact with you. If they’re lying, they’ll do everything to avoid direct eye contact.
• Gestures will be limited. Hand and arm movements will be more mechanical than animated.
• They’ll touch their face and neck but won’t touch their body, especially with an open hand on their chest.
• They might shrug their shoulders trying to relax themselves in an effort to look casual.

Consistency

• Timing is off between gestures and words. Their facial expression won’t match the timing of the words. For instance, "I’m really angry with you," and a frowning face doesn’t happen at the same time - the frown comes later.
• Gestures don’t match the words. Saying "I love you," and frowning says they’re insincere. Clenched fists while making a statement of pleasure is insincere.
• The emotions of happiness, surprise, awe and love will be expressed by the mouth but not the whole face.

On the Defensive

• When wrongfully accused, only a guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will go on the offensive.
• They are reluctant to face their accuser and may turn their head or shift their body away from you.
• Liars commonly slouch and are unlikely to stand up straight with arms out.
• You’ll see movement away from you - like toward the door.
• There will be no body contact while they’re trying to convince you that you’re wrong.
• They might put something between you as a physical barrier, such as a glass, pillow or other object as a non-verbal way of saying they don’t want to talk about it

Nobody wants to be with someone who’s dishonest. Let’s face it, if they lie to you about one thing, you’ll never trust them anyway. Don’t waste one minute with someone who lies to you because you’ll always be unhappy.

Have you ever wondered where they came up with the lettering system to describe women’s bra sizes? Well, here it is.

A - ALMOST BOOBS

B - BARELY BOOBS

C - CAN’T COMPLAIN

D - DANG

DD - DOUBLE DANG

E - ENORMOUS

F - FAKE

G - GET A REDUCTION

H - HELP ME, I CAN’T STAND UP!
If you’re an H, I feel really sorry for you.

But I still have my gall bladder, unfortunately. I won’t bore you with all the details but as I was prepped for surgery the doctor came in and said, “sorry, there’s a junior doctor’s strike and we’re not doing any elective surgery at all. You’ll have to go home and go on the waiting list there.” It’s socialized medicine and the most needy come first. I don’t have a problem with that at all. I just hate pissing away a week’s time doing absolutely nothing. They knew the strike was coming, they could have sent me home last week.

So here I am. Eating nothing but grass and twigs to keep the gallstones from clogging the pipes.

Drat.