I found this on whiteknot.org and I have to say I hadn’t really thought much about the marriage equality until I found out my grandson and the apple of my eye is gay and is living with a really nice man. They’re both university graduates, one’s a lawyer and one’s pretty high up in the political scene. Will they want to marry? I don’t know but after reading this, I hope they can if it’s what they want.

15 Reasons Why Marriage Matters — From Marriage Equality USA

1. Marriage offers 1,138 Federal benefits and responsibilities, not including hundreds more offered by every state.
2. In times of crisis, spouses have hospital visitation rights and can make medical decisions in event of illness or disability of their spouse.
3. Employers offer spouses sick leave, bereavement leave, access to health insurance and pension.
4. The law provides certain automatic rights to a person’s spouse regardless of whether or not a will exists.
5. Married couples in elderly care facilities are generally not separated unless one spouse’s health dictates hospitalization or special care.
6. Married couples are permitted to give an unlimited amount of gifts to each other without being taxed.
7. The law presumes that a married couple with both names on the title to their home owns the property as “tenants by the entirety.”
8. A married couple, by statute, has creditor protection of their marital home.
9. any married people are entitled to financial benefits relating to their spouses, such as disability, pension and social security benefits.
10. With marriage, a couple has the right to be treated as an economic unit and to file joint tax returns (and pay the marriage penalty), and obtain joint
11. health, home and auto insurance policies.
12. When a spouse dies, there is no need to prove ownership of every item in the household for taxable purposes.
13. A child who grows up with married parents benefits from the fact that his or her parents’ relationship is recognized by law and receives legal protections.
14. Spouses are generally entitled to joint child custody and visitation upon divorce (and bear an obligation to pay child support).
15. The mark of a strong family and healthy children is having parents who are nurturing, caring, and loving. Parents should be judged on their ability to parent, not by their age, race, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity.
16. or adults, a stable, happy marriage is the best protector against illness and premature death. Decades of research have clearly established these links. (Burman & Margolin, 1992; Dawson, 1991; Verbrugge, 1979).

All of these rights of marriage I have always taken for granted but if I loved another woman instead of a man, I’d be denied all these things. Does it really hurt any of us if gay people can marry? Seriously? I’m not talking about having them walk down the aisles of every church but what is going to tear down society if everyone has equal marriage rights? Maybe some of us need to be more human and compassionate towards others.

People tell me all the time that one of the things that they want most in a new partner is for them to be self-confident. What do you do if you don’t have any confidence in yourself or maybe not as much as you think you should have?

I’m no doctor or counselor but I think there are ways we can work on ourselves to boost our self-confidence. Are you a martyr or a rug who allows others to take advantage of you? Now’s the time to stop that.

1. Give yourself a compliment. Go ahead, go to the mirror and look at yourself and give yourself a compliment. Maybe you’ve been kind to someone today. Maybe you really like the arch of your eyebrows. Maybe you like the way you smile. There’s always something about us to be complimented on and you should do this every day — several times a day even. This will re-write any negative crap that rolls around in your brain.
2. Get some sticky notes and write a message that’s meaningful to you and stick it to the fridge or the bathroom mirror. For instance; “I have gone 2 days without binge eating!”
3. Pamper yourself. I know we’re all really busy with our lives and there’s never enough time to take care of ourselves properly but today, just do it. Put yourself first. Don’t mow the lawn. Don’t go shopping. Don’t do anything that you don’t feel like doing. It’s a great buzz to do this every once in a while. You will feel special through and through.
4. Set small goals for your confidence. When you reach one — reward yourself. I use a piggy bank and when I pat myself on the back for doing something for ME, I put in $5. What will I do with it? I have no idea but just knowing it’s there and I got it by working on myself, it makes me feel good.
5. Start a new hobby. Sure, none of us have time for that but what’s the real reason you wouldn’t do it? You feel that you “should” spend your time doing for others. That’s crap! I’m guilty of that too but I’m trying to wean myself from it. You don’t have to live for your new hobby but take some time every day to do something you enjoy. Golf, tennis, knitting, cards, gardening – you name it. Permit yourself some time during every day to your hobby. It might be as little as making a date for tennis. You might make new friends, you might learn something or you might even learn that you are important enough to be confident in who you are.

One thing to remember — nobody is confident all the time. From the President of the United States on down, we all have days when we’re not so confident. The good bit about that is that it doesn’t matter. It only matters if YOU think you’re not good enough today and will never ever ever be good enough and there is nobody that will like you. It just ain’t true.

How many women view porn on the net?

If you’d asked me that question 6 months ago I would have said, “Maybe a few,” but then I’d be wrong. Recently SexyAds.com conducted a survey about how the internet and dating sites had changed people’s ideas on sexuality.

Do women watch porn? Is flirting online “cheating”? Are people more likely to be more sexually adventurous since the advent of the internet? These are just some of the questions we wanted answers to.

We found some interesting results.

For example, 91% of the respondents view porn online, and some 56% find it at least somewhat satisfying. A greater pecentage of men than women vist porn sites, although a suprising 80% of women said they visit at least “One or two porn sites”, and only 19% of women said they did not find online porn satisfying. Even older women look at porn, although not as big a percentage as younger women (this is also true of men). 76% of women over 40 told us they look at porn, although only 44% found it satisfying. For women over 60, 78% look at porn and 53% found it at least somewhat satisfying.

The internet has changed at least some people’s views about sex and sexuality. 63% of people told us they feel more sexually adventurous since starting to surf the net, although only 31% said they actually feel sexier, with 38% being undecided about that.

The internet has made it easier for people to fulfill their sexual fantasies it seems. 75% said that the internet has made it easier to fulfil their sexual fantasies, (78% or women and 74% of men) while only 63% say they feel sexier (62% of men and 69% of women).

83% of people told us they thought online flirting was not cheating and 71% indicated they’d be more likely to consider an affair.

You can see all the preliminary results and breakdowns by gender and age here.

While we’ve compiled the preliminary results already, you can still take the sexuality survey here