What is it about grown men and women who feel it necessary to give cutesy names to their private parts? You know I’ve been running an adult dating site for more than thirteen years and I thought I’d dealt with my frustrations pretty well — until today.

Just as people with blogs moderate all their comments, we do the same thing on our site. We won’t publish anything one of us hasn’t looked at. The risks are just too high. So imagine my eyes rolling around in my head when I saw these comments go past my eyes earlier today:

Him: Welcome to the site, I think you’re really pretty.
Her: Thank you very much, you’re not so bad yourself
Him: What sort of man are you looking for?
Her: Interesting, challenging, respectful & funny. Sexy wouldn’t hurt either.
Him: Do you have more photos of yourself?
Her: Yes
Him: Can I see them?
Her: I haven’t uploaded them and I’m not sure I will just yet, I’m new at this.
Him: You could send them to me privately.
Her: I’m not a VIP member and neither are you, so I think emailing will have to wait.
Him: You could cheat and sneak your email address to me.
Her: I’m not a cheat – are you?
Him: No, sorry about that.
Her: I’m off for now, time for lunch.
Him: Would you like to see my pickle?

The woman wrote and asked how to blacklist the guy because he was obviously not her type.

Guys, some women and maybe a lot of women don’t want their first hello to be overtly sexual. This woman knew that if she had said she had more photos he would have asked for nude ones. Oh I know it’s possible that he wouldn’t have but my experience is pretty clear that a lot of guys visit dating/networking sites for a bit of titillation and if one woman doesn’t put out, they move along to the next one.

The best advice I could possibly give to any man or woman seeking a new relationship – make friends first. Once you do that, nature takes over and there’s never any stress or games playing. The guy above would have have a real chance with the woman if he’d talked about his interests, what kinds of things made him laugh — showing that he had the qualities of interesting, challenging, respectful and funny that she was looking for. Oh she also said sexy and that’s the only word he saw. Sexy doesn’t mean showing your pickle – or anything else that you normally cover up in public.

We all know how great sex feels physically and emotionally but what do you feel when the sex is, dare I say… bad. This sexy old broad doesn’t have a lot of experience with bad sex but I’ve talked with a couple of women recently who say it can sometimes be a problem.

One women said that she’d met a guy online and they’d emailed and chatted back and forth for a few weeks before starting to chat about sexy things. She told me that the guy could really turn her on with his words and she felt like she knew him inside and out before she met him.

“In my mind, I knew exactly how sex was going to be between us — I just knew,” she said. She went on to say, “Then the day came when we were to meet and he arrived not looking *exactly* like the photo he sent to me.”

She’d been looking forward to his visit for 3 weeks and when his looks didn’t quite match his photo she was willing to give him the benefit of doubt because sometimes we all have photos taken that make us look really good. They chatted for a while and went out to dinner and when they got home, she was expecting some hot stuff to happen. They’d been chatting, emailing and talking on the phone for weeks and weeks and she was ready for some fun in bed.

“I really like the guy but as a lover, he was really crap,” she said. “Kissing him felt like I was taking a tongue bath from a St. Bernard and his idea of foreplay was tweaking my nipples and grunting – I couldn’t wait for it to end.”

I thought, “wow, how disappointing it would be to have that happen after so much emotional energy had been put into anticipating a fantastic first meeting.”

It reminded me of my own first meeting after meeting my husband online back in 1994. Pretty much what she said to me about anticipating the meeting I could have said myself. Only my meeting was just perfect and hers was a disaster.

She asked me what I would have done in that situation and I have to admit I’m a very selfish lover. If I was her I would have said that it wasn’t working for me and I would have ended it. I don’t believe in pity fucks. I don’t think it serves either of you to “endure” a sexual experience.

If you’ve received lots of chocolate for Easter and you worry that you’re going to put on too much weight or make yourself sick if you eat it, the experts tell us that some chocolate is good for us! While I don’t take that to mean I can eat 3 chocolate bunnies and 4 Cadbury eggs in one session but there’s no reason not to enjoy chocolate.

When we have chocolate in the house (not all the time, sadly) we buy really good dark chocolate. That’s the healtiest for you, I’m told. When do we eat it? Usually after sex. Remember in the olden days when you’d have sex and then light up a cigarette? These days chocolate does the same thing, especially with us.

According to this article on chocolate at CNN.com, chocolate is good for your heart, your skin and your brain. Harvard University scientists showed that chocolate can increase blow flow and reduce blood stickiness as well as reducing overall blood pressure. That’s enough for me right there but hey, chocolate tastes good too!

Italian researchers tell us that for some people chocolate is an aphrodisiac too. As if I needed an excuse to buy more chocolate??