Not many men have the guts to tease their woman. Teasing your woman can be a lot of fun and a challenge but you should learn how to tease the right way.

You might do this but I received a note from someone who wished her lover would try it to help her get bigger orgasms. She writes that he goes for the goods (breasts and clitoris) and after a bit of fingering he’s ready to get the job done.

You might consider this request to be common sense, but he never does this for me. For me, sometimes it´s even better than the nipple sucking and fingering my clit. I want him to play “at the door” – give me partial penetration.

Before he rushes the finish line I want to to ramp up the teasing. I want to beg him to FUCK ME. Seriously, lack of doing this makes me resort to using a small vibrator to get me ready. I just don’t know how to explain that I want him to tease me with the tip of his penis. I get this huge sense of arousal and an aching for him to shove himself into me. Making me beg just heightens the orgasm when I finally get there.

I thought maybe you could write about this and ask other members for advice on how to get him to play with me instead of just fuck me.

As a woman I instantly knew what she was talking about and I agree it results in fantastic orgasms when a woman is teased til she wants to be fucked so badly she begs. So folks, what’s your advice? Mine would be that the inability to talk to her lover about sex and her needs IS the problem.

Statement: Women always take longer to reach orgasm than men.

Fact: Hogwash. If you take a man and a woman who are both at peak arousal, they will reach orgasm at roughly the same time. The people who make the previous statement measure a woman’s time to reach orgasm from when she’s making a cake to reaching heaven in the throes of passion. The truth is that it takes a woman longer to get from square one to full arousal than it takes a man. A man can be fully aroused in a matter of seconds and he’s ready to storm the gate.

So for the man who wants his partner to be fully engaged and meet him in ecstasy, he needs to help her reach that arousal state. Foreplay is much more than taking your clothes off for most all women. If a woman can reach orgasm by masturbating, she can reach orgasm through vaginal sex. If they can’t then they aren’t getting the type of clitoral stimulation that they need.

Do you get hotter when your lover talks dirty to you? Most people do. It’s naughty and it releases some of our inhibitions, especially for women. I know it’s tough to ask for dirty talk if you’re shy but seriously, nobody is going to think you’re weird if you let them know you secretly crave honest, dirty talk while you make love.

Dirty talk can also rev the engines before hand with a quiet whisper in your lover’s ear saying something like, “I want to bend you over the table and fuck you from behind and drive you crazy. The raw animal sounds you make drive me insane.” It’s a way of keeping the intimacy between you throughout the day.

If you’re asked to talk dirty and can’t think of anything to say, don’t sweat it, just say what’s in your mind. It’s better to be safe than sorry so maybe you start out by saying tamer things and with tamer language and slowly moving on to the naughtier talk.

Decide what voice you’ll use. Try whispering, try screaming, try everything possible to vent out your mood, doesn’t matter because we all have a dirty talk voice in there. Try it out and find yours.

“What if he bursts out laughing when I think I’m talking really dirty?”

So what? There is plenty of time for laughter while having sex too. It’s never about being right. You’ll never get sex right. You don’t want to get sex right because then you wouldn’t have to practice so often.

What are your best dirty talk lines?