A lack of self-confidence

People tell me all the time that one of the things that they want most in a new partner is for them to be self-confident. What do you do if you don’t have any confidence in yourself or maybe not as much as you think you should have?

I’m no doctor or counselor but I think there are ways we can work on ourselves to boost our self-confidence. Are you a martyr or a rug who allows others to take advantage of you? Now’s the time to stop that.

1. Give yourself a compliment. Go ahead, go to the mirror and look at yourself and give yourself a compliment. Maybe you’ve been kind to someone today. Maybe you really like the arch of your eyebrows. Maybe you like the way you smile. There’s always something about us to be complimented on and you should do this every day — several times a day even. This will re-write any negative crap that rolls around in your brain.
2. Get some sticky notes and write a message that’s meaningful to you and stick it to the fridge or the bathroom mirror. For instance; “I have gone 2 days without binge eating!”
3. Pamper yourself. I know we’re all really busy with our lives and there’s never enough time to take care of ourselves properly but today, just do it. Put yourself first. Don’t mow the lawn. Don’t go shopping. Don’t do anything that you don’t feel like doing. It’s a great buzz to do this every once in a while. You will feel special through and through.
4. Set small goals for your confidence. When you reach one — reward yourself. I use a piggy bank and when I pat myself on the back for doing something for ME, I put in $5. What will I do with it? I have no idea but just knowing it’s there and I got it by working on myself, it makes me feel good.
5. Start a new hobby. Sure, none of us have time for that but what’s the real reason you wouldn’t do it? You feel that you “should” spend your time doing for others. That’s crap! I’m guilty of that too but I’m trying to wean myself from it. You don’t have to live for your new hobby but take some time every day to do something you enjoy. Golf, tennis, knitting, cards, gardening – you name it. Permit yourself some time during every day to your hobby. It might be as little as making a date for tennis. You might make new friends, you might learn something or you might even learn that you are important enough to be confident in who you are.

One thing to remember — nobody is confident all the time. From the President of the United States on down, we all have days when we’re not so confident. The good bit about that is that it doesn’t matter. It only matters if YOU think you’re not good enough today and will never ever ever be good enough and there is nobody that will like you. It just ain’t true.