Fear of rejection
Only a few people I’ve known have ever been rejected by someone, so why do so many people fear rejection?
So often I hear people talk in the chatroom or read forum posts where they’ll say that they are so uncomfortable with rejection that it’s easier just to walk away than make the attempt. Then some go on to say that’s why they love meeting through the internet because through the anonymity the feel, there is no fear of rejection. That’s all well and good but at some point you need to meet face to face or the rumpy pumpy action that we all love so much is never going to happen.
Sure, whenever you decide not to contact someone or decide not to ask someone out, those fear feelings in your gut go away instantly, but what’s left is that sinking guilty feeling of knowing how much better your life would be with a special person to share it with.
What’s all wrong about this is that you’re worried about the fear more than the rejection. Most people are not rude or crude if they aren’t interested, they simply say no thanks or come up with an excuse that limits their own risk of confrontation. So it’s the fear you need to conquer not the rejection.
Next time you want to ask someone out (and this applies equally to men and women) go for it. Don’t think about being rejected and if you’re turned down with a no thank you it’s not a rejection of you. Trust me, you’ll get over it in less than 15 minutes. It will hurt less than getting a parking ticket and will cost much less. You put that experience into your bag of tricks and move on to a scrumptious new target. Just as some people don’t interest you, you are not rejecting them, only choosing to select someone who better fits your ideal mate.
The important thing to remember is, you’re never going to get anywhere until you conquer the fear.
Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I’ve just finished reading your posts under ‘dating’ and I enjoyed it very much.
A thought regarding rejection which somewhat goes with one of the other posts you wrote about loser mentality. I not only have the fear of rejection but also subconsciously expect rejection by default! I know this doesn’t help me at all and I’m trying to get rid of it but somehow it always creeps back.