Men and Feelings
Picture this: you and your man are in romance heaven. Everything seems perfect! You and your partner are enjoying each other’s company. You are almost together 24/7 and then it seems like everything is falling into place. But then, you decide to talk about your thoughts, your feelings, and where you think the relationship is going. Once he finds out about your expectations, he suddenly starts backing off and keeping his distance. He doesn’t even return your calls anymore. It seems like he fell off the romance radar.
When a woman in a relationship decides to open up about her true feelings, guys usually go into an instant panic mode. What is it with men and feelings anyway? Are our men allergic to feelings and expectations? It seems like every time a woman attempts to talk about how she is feeling, the man in her life suddenly turn his back away. No matter how hard a woman tries, she can’t seem to rekindle the connection they used to share before she decided to voice out her feelings. Her man just drifts further and further away until he disappears altogether, and she’s left in the dark wondering just what it was she did wrong. Besides, all she did was tell the truth about her feelings, right? How could that possibly work against her relationship? If this hasn’t happened to you before, then it’s probably happened to one of your girl friends. So when either you or one of your girl friends think you’re almost at the point of having “the talk” with a boyfriend, make sure you remember the advice in this article. “The talk,” by itself, isn’t a bad idea to have. In fact, it’s actually a necessary step for the relationship to move forward and grow into the next level. The problem rises when the woman speaks her mind in a negative context, and this is usually the case, particularly, if she just came out of a bad relationship.
When women want to talk about their feelings, expectations, etc to their man, it is important to remember to not shock the guy. Try to be subtle and try not to overwhelm him. When she talks about her feelings, there may be certain expectations that she has. One of the reasons why some guys back away is because they might be thinking that you are expecting too much from them, especially if it’s early in the dating game. It is important that women take things slowly — have the talk when you know that your man is ready for it.
Don’t think you shouldn’t talk about your feelings but accept that he might not take it the way you mean it. You might be talking from the bottom of your soul and all he hears is blah blah blah love blah blah insecure blah blah blah. Don’t let him get away with it. Not listening is a put down and says that you aren’t worth listening to. We all know that men and feelings don’t necessarily go together. When things are done subtly and at the right time, then the chances of him engaging in a good talk about your future, your needs, your expectations and your feelings.
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I think it has something to do with why men so often marry a complete bitch. The only want what is on the outside, the boobs and frills. To actually get to know a woman and have to talk to her about something out of their usual range is too much for them. They’d rather spend time just talking to her boobs and getting bossed around.
My brother is dating a great woman. He says he wants to be married and have kids. But he is over 40 and never married. Each time he talks about getting married he says he isn’t sure about her cause she is too nice and not slim. It doesn’t matter what we say about how great a life partner she would be and how great it is that he is finally dating a woman who is not a lunatic, neurotic or ultra needy and a slut. He really seems to want to find a skinny bitch with big boobs. Yet, he has dated several and did not get stuck with any (so far). In the end I think he will be a bachelor for life or get some skinny crazy bitch pregnant and be stuck with her.
I think a big problem is that we don’t like to move things quickly, especially if we are not sure if that particular girl is the one. Because if we start committing too early then it becomes harder and harder to back out of it when we realize that the woman is not right for us.
I think it takes time to really get to know someone and when they start pushing you to get serious, then it’s time to go on the defensive. Just my opinion though.
I have grown to love and appreciate your blog, and I have left you an award over at my place. Hope you like it.
Hi Sexy old broad! I just dropped in for a visit
it is kind of serendipity that I just made a toonlet about emotional connections. Your readers might like it. At this point they don’t embed in blog pages very nicely but seth & crew are working on it. so here’s the link
http://toonlet.com/archive?m=t&i=18538
i so love your blog…
the problem i think is if the woman have all this expectations… and that things are planned out… men do usually get scared of that… who wouldn’t…?
i think the advise i could give… women should test the water first… don’t jump on him right then and there… cause what men hears at that point is, “here is what i want!”, i think it’s how you say it rather on what you are saying…
maneuver it as if it’s your man who is laying expectation and making plans… and who is putting the cards on the table… now if there are things you don’t like… just nod your head and decide later if you are to learn to live with it–a question of how much you love him and yourself… or try making him see a different perspective…
NEVER ARGUE in this instance…
men loves to drive and navigate… let them have that or make them think that is exactly what they are doing…
but then again, i don’t know… i’m gay… lol
i would like to invite you to my other blog, http://troubleshoot101.blogspot.com
it’s about common computer issues and troubleshooting steps we could do to fix them…
Nice blog, loved your article. I couldn’t agree more that men and feelings typically do not go together.
The problem with having a talk and one’s feelings expression have only emotionally immature men. I believe that there are lots of emotionally clever men who could ‘read woman’s mind’.
I think this is the reason the Book Men are from Mars and women are from Venus because we’re complete opposite and we’ll NEVER ever understand MEN nor they will ever understand us women! dang!
Mars. Venus. Nuff said.
Men tend to bottle up their feelings and I think it has a lot to do with the way we are brought up. I find it hard to cry and release my emotions. They do say that opposites attract though. My wife and I are still in love and best of friends after 25 years of marriage despite our differences.