Moving in together
Nothing brings out all the zits better than living together. Or as my mother would say, shacking up or living in sin. Up until now you’ve both been on company manners and only showed each other what you wanted the other to see or to know about you. Once you’re together 24/7 there are few secrets and this person you adore could turn into a monster.
If at the moment you think the sun shines out of your lover’s ass, you’re probably in for a huge shock. He or she is going to be a mere mortal in less than 24 hours. Imagine waking up that first morning full of love and lust and after hot sex you both decide it’s time to get up. First you trip over his shoes and underwear or her ice cream bowl and spoon casually left on the floor. Then you head to the bathroom and find toothpaste stuck in the sink or whiskers on the counter top. Believe me, this is the tip of the iceberg.
A good relationship can weather all this and much more but it takes being a good relationship to begin with. Once you’re living together you will share everything from 1/2 the bed to 1/2 (or more) of the closet, shopping, cooking, cleaning and the odd common cold. Are you up to sharing 50% of your space into the future?
There are ways to prevent future disaster to your relationship and you’d be wise to agree on most everything before the big move in date.
Chores
to make the bed?
to buy the food?
to cook the food?
to clean up the dishes?
to do the laundry?
and that’s just for starters.
Lifestyle
Do you like their friends? They’re going to be around a lot.
Is one of you a smoker that will drive the other one nuts?
Is one a neatnik and the other a slob? The house will be as neat as the sloppiest resident.
Is one of you a big drinker and the other not? This will eventually be a problem.
Finances
This one is always tough because historically men earn more than women and to split everything 50/50, he gets way more discretionary spending than she does. When we first lived together we decided on a percentage of our income that went into the community pot that was used to pay all the living expenses. Anything left over was spent on something for the house.
What if your sweetums has a mental problem or can’t hold a steady job? Can you foot the bills on your own for periods of time?
Important
Have or create a space in your house or apartment where you can be alone. Everyone needs some down time and recovery space, especially if she’s having a Tupperware party in the kitchen.
Don’t put yourself in a position where if you are miserable you can’t afford to move out and start again on your own. I’ve seen this so many times. Couples spend everything they’ve got building a lovenest only to find it fall from the tree and they can’t afford to move on alone.
My friend thought that she was pregnant. she didn’t take any pregnancy test, but since she is a nursing student, her bf trusted him anyway. So they both went to her parents and confessed that they had sex and she thinks she was pregnant.
Her parents took her to a clinic and was found that she just have an ireegular menstruation.
But anyway, since their parents are conservative, they forced them to get married. now she’s in a total despair uncovering so many things that she didn’t know about her husband. the worse thing is, divorce is not legal here in the philippines.
**From FeelingFlirty - I can only think of one thing to say.. “ewwww”.
I have been by your blog several times, but I really did like this post. I have been married before and I understand how a lot of this works. Paying the bills, doing the dishes, laundry, cookin’, shoppin’ for groceries….all those memories from sharing an apartment with my wife (at the time).
I was raised a very domesticated man, so I was not one of these men that had a cave man approach the marital arrangement. Actually I cooked, cleaned and did laundry a lot more than my wife did. LOL.
Now I am about to move into a new phase of life with my present girlfriend who will most likely be my next wife. I can see myself being the same in terms of sharing and taking over a lot of the responsibilities known as “woman’s work” in the household. LOL. I enjoy it and little things that will make the house a happy home.
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Flirty! First time visitor. Great site first off.
Second, I have never been in this situation where I actually “officially” moved in where a girlfriend but we might as well have. Her parents were conservative about it so she wouldn’t do it. We spent every night for 1.5 years in the same bed yet had our own places. I felt it silly to not move in for a few reasons.
1. I loved her and wanted to.
2. We could have taken the extra money from a second rent payment (and bills etc) and done something fun with it every month. (Or saved it)
3. We were already doing it!
I guess hindsight is 20/20 since a little time after we parted ways. (she is 6 years younger and still had some playing to do I suppose)
Good stuff!
yeah, i think this is going to be interesting when my girlfriend and i move in within the next year. i mean, i stay over her house and vice versa and we split a lot of things but i guess i won’t know officially till we move in. but i can tell that i will need that extra space or room lol… i mean, i need to watch my sports and stuff! lol
Jay
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