On being kind

In my opinion, the most important trait a potential partner of mine could have is kindness. Sure, having a gorgeous man on my arm might make me feel proud when I stroll in to a party or fancy restaurant or club, but it’s when I’m alone with my man that his kindness really shines. Seriously, what’s more important when you fall asleep at night, knowing you went out with a hot looking guy or that your guy made you feel wonderful about yourself several times during the day. I’ll choose feeling wonderful about myself every day of the week.

Now I’m not sayin’ I’d like a butt ugly man who never washes or brushes his teeth, far from it. It’s just that the outside bits are far less important to me than the inny bits of his character.

What else does kindness mean?

Kind people control the situation. They’re in control of every situation because they choose their actions. Every time you give up your seat for an elderly person or let the guy behind you at the supermarket checkout go ahead of you because he only has a few items, you’re in control. You are the one making things happen. Sure, the other person is benefiting, but he couldn’t have the benefit if you hadn’t done the favor.

Kind people feel stoked. Nothing feels better than when someone says thanks for something I’ve done for them. It gives me a big endorphin rush and it can last for hours. Nobody can be kind all the time, but when you are, you feel terrific and know you’ve done the right thing.

Kind people are healthier. A survey of 3,000 volunteers over a period of a year showed that they are less likely to suffer ulcers, stress and colds right after helping someone.

I’ve been accused of picking up strays by my husband but in every single instance, he’s come back to say that what we’ve done together for someone has made a big difference in our own lives.

So look for something important to do for someone else. You’ll feel better for it and you’ll be way more attractive to people like me.