You really appreciate your health. Unfortunately when you appreciate it most is when you don’t feel so well. That’s where I am today. I had my gall bladder out two weeks ago and I got a staph infection in one of the wounds. When they tell you to wash your hands every 30 seconds, you should listen. Make everyone wash their hands before touching you too.

I’m on the mend but just barely. Sorry I haven’t posted since I went to the hospital.

When a woman wears a leather dress,

A man’s heart beats quicker,

His throat gets dry,

He goes weak at the knees,

And he begins to think irrationally.

keep scrolling!

What is it about people who don’t know that they stink? Peee ewwww. I was shopping yesterday and stood behind a woman who was smartly dressed and looked like she had money. Well, her shoes looked expensive and she had a designer handbag and big rocks on her fingers but they might have all been fakes. Anyway, as I always do, I smiled and nodded that funny little hello that you do when you’re standing in the checkout line. And then it hit me. I took a deep breath and this woman smelled so bad that I know tears came out of my eyes. The body odor was enough to knock an elephant down half a mile away.

In this day and age when everyone has a bathtub or shower and soap isn’t too expensive, why would you go around dirty and worse stinky? Smelling natural is one thing but going around smelling like a skunk is too gross for words.

As I stood there waiting for her to pay the money and piss off I thought about her poor husband. She had on a wedding ring so I assume she has a husband. Imagine what it must be like to cuddle up to that? I imagined him with one of those swimmers noseplugs that kids used to wear when I was young. You’d have to want sex awfully bad to get close to someone who smelled that much.

It got my curiosity piqued so much that I did some searching on the net and indeed there are some conditions that make people smell bad when they are not dirty. So I’m going to think that Miss Stinky has a condition that renders her smelly and that as we speak she’s getting treatment. If it were me, I’d stay home and save the world.

For those of you who have blogs or websites of your own, have you ever looked at what terms people enter in search engines to find you? There are some seriously odd people out there, I swear.

I was having a look through my Google analytics this morning and I nearly dropped my teeth. Ok, my teeth don’t come out but if they did, I’d have surely dropped them. The first term was

Tickle her til she peed

I’ve never written about this so why did that hit come to me? I don’t know. That’s not the important point though. WHY would anyone search for that? Feeling guilty perhaps? If a man tickled me I’d dump him anyway but if he wouldn’t stop and he made me pee, I’d go after him and take him down. So if it was you searching for that term, take a hike!

Big mushroom head sexual pleasure

Now I’m POSITIVE that I have never written anything about that, ever. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever even thought about that phrase in my whole life and I’m pretty old. Is this a gay guy maybe? It must be because I don’t think any of my female friends would ever talk about big mushroom head sexual pleasure.

Here’s another one.. it makes you wonder where these people work, doesn’t it? I mean could you imagine working in the next cubicle to someone who searched for

Scary women sex

Seriously, what sort of person wants a scary woman to have sex with? If you’re wondering, I haven’t written anything about THAT either!

Finally, here’s one that I can relate to and it makes sense, however I have no idea where I have said this phrase on my site. It fits me though!

Just a little bit naughty