Job, chores, kids, community activities, sports, friends, family – when do you put you and your lover first? It’s all fine while you’re dating because you’ve got all those sex hormones raging through your system but when those wear off (and they always do) then what?

If YOU don’t make your sex life a priority then nobody is going to do it for you. Even if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you can’t wait for your partner to rise to the occasion and make it all better. Take this challenge and make it work.

When you pass your sweetie in the hallway, stop for a 3 minute pash on the lips.

Take charge in the foreplay department. If you want more.. take it. Your partner will love it when it’s obvious you’re getting your needs met while both of you are having a good time together.

Create the mood. Light candles, wear something sexy, even if it’s only a smile!

The bottom line is, if you want a better sex life, the solution lies right in your own hands. Feeling sexy is contagious and once you’ve got the bug, you’ll pass it on!

Do you have body issues that keep you from letting go during sex so you feel comfortable hanging from the chandelier?

Lots of women and some men do. Whether it’s because there’s extra weight, scarring from surgery or an accident, droopy skin from age or weight loss or simply think that other naked people look better than they do, lots hold back on getting wild in the bedroom (or the back yard or the kitchen!) Here are a few tips to help you feel more comfortable so you can pay better attention to what’s going on rather than who’s seeing what.
1. Use lamps with a dimmer switch or candles instead of bright overhead lights.

You could always do it in the dark but mood lighting does help and let’s face it, guys like to look.

2. Choose positions that flatter and make the best of what you’ve got: missionary will hide your tummy and side-by-side takes the focus off your butt.

The idea is to get your mind off what you consider are your bad bits and focus your attention on the naughty bits!

3. If you’re REALLY tense, leave on a piece of clothing, like a lacy camisole to keep your body a little covered.

Not only are you covering up what you feel uncomfortable about, sexy clothing is a big turn-on for a lot of people. Two issues sorted at once!

4. Realize that you’re the only one who’s concerned about your body. Your partner doesn’t care – he or she wants you!

Seriously, they have seen your shape in clothes and they still want to bonk your bones. The bits you don’t like might be the bits that really turn your lover on! You could be worrying about a flabby belly and he’s thinking, “Geez, there’s spinach on her front tooth.”

5. Stop thinking about yourself and pay attention to pleasing your partner..

When you’re focused on giving pleasure, you won’t be thinking about yourself. That’s a good thing. Knowing that he or she is being driven wild by what you’re doing is a great confidence booster. Anyone who’s on his or her way to the moon (orgasmically speaking) is not thinking, “what a huge backside!” None of what you’re worrying about matters. If it did, they wouldn’t want to be naked with you in the first place.

6. Close your eyes and enjoy the touch.

When you are worried about your saggy skin how can you be getting turned on? You can’t so start paying attention to the nice feelings that you have when your lover touches your skin, or how your lips feel when you’re kissed. This too will increase your self-esteem and confidence. Your lover will enjoy your reactions too.

7. Think yourself sexy.

We can all fantasize so let your wildest imagination go. Think of things that turn you on. Fantasies, whether you share them with your lover or not, can make your body respond in a remarkable way and that will boost your self-confidence when you see the reaction on your lover’s face.

Nobody wants to think that anyone has been told that they’re a lousy lay, no matter how “above it all” someone might be. We all want to be good in bed — I think we’re born wanting that. Criticism of our carnal ability cuts like the sharpest knife.

If a guy is with a woman who fakes her orgasms like Meg Ryan, how’s he supposed to know that 3 years from now she’s going to say he was lousy in bed? If a guy gets off with a woman every time, how’s she supposed to know that 3 years from now he is telling people that fucking her is like rolling a peanut down a hallway?

Imagine how you’d feel if you were the proverbial fly on the wall when your ex-lover was trashing your “sack” record? What do you do when you’re faced with this situation? CAN you do anything when you’re sexual prowess is being called into question or do you keep on the low down until it all blows over?

Nobody has any respect for someone who does a kiss and tell. It’s tacky, immature and distasteful. Someone who does this has ZERO class. My advice is to put on a soft smile, look up and slowly shake your head. You’re saying, without saying, “I’ve got come class and I’m keeping my mouth shut about what a lousy piece of crap this person is and when it’s all over I’m going to be the one getting respect.” Firing back only leads others to think maybe there’s some truth to what was said.

How would you handle it if someone said you were lousy in the sack?

What professions do you consider are the sexiest? Recently a survey asked people to list the sexiest professions and here are the top 10.

Model
I suspect this is a no-brainer. I can’t imagine anyone turning down someone good looking enough to walk down a fashion runway.
Cocktail Waitress
Seriously? That’s #2 ? Have you ever waited tables in a bar? I can’t imagine a harder job. I suppose you DO meet a lot of new people.
Athlete
It would have to be a nationally known athlete if you’re out of high school or college I think.
Firefighter
Ok, now we’re getting into the uniform people and uniforms always seem to catch peoples’ attention.
Cowboy (Cowgirl?)
I guess this could be seen as sexy – riding horseflesh between your legs all day would certainly keep you in the mood.
Doctor or Nurse
Who doesn’t have a doctor or nurse / patient fantasy? Folks in the caring professions are easy to talk to and they take an interest in what we say.
Artist
Don’t we all wish we could be an artist’s muse? Artists are passionate people and they’re often puzzling to sort out. Plus, you can get free art.
Military Personnel
Again we have the uniform. These are people who are giving up their own safety and security to protect ours and our appreciation and gratitude often gets amorous.
Construction Worker
Isn’t there something sexy about a man wielding a hammer? I’m not a man so I don’t know if a man would feel the same way about seeing a woman sawing a piece of wood. Maybe. We have respect for those who can build or repair things. I can’t. (let’s not talk about plumbers or their butts, okay?)
TV/Movie Star
Let’s not include Larry King or Glenn Beck but the rest of the folks in the movies or on TV would get quite a few people to say okay to letting them park their sneakers under their beds. Jon Stewart was named one of the sexiest men on TV so obviously women think smarts are sexy. Good to have a great sense of humor too.

One thing I notice right away from these results are all these people are passionate about their work and would have to enjoy it to stick with it. Maybe that’s what we find so appealing about them. Maybe that passion makes us consider them sexy.