If you’re unfamiliar with the term, peacocking is when there is something about you that can elicit conversation by acting as an icebreaker. Now there’s no magic shirt that will all of a sudden get you laid, but you can utilize small things to start a conversation and possibly get a smile. Get a smile, and you’ve got a promising start to any conversation.

A pink shirt might not do it for you but it’s certainly eye catching, isn’t it?

Got a cellphone capable of setting a ringtone? You can set a distinctive song to a particular good friend, and use that to your advantage. Whenever your friend calls, if there’s anyone interesting around, you can use a catch phrase from the song to greet your friend while simultaneously flashing a smile at the girl. This is great because the ringtone gets her attention, you get to smile while making eye contact – and now she’s just caught herself looking at you. This is the perfect time to take notice if she’s interested as people have trouble hiding interest in that half second.

Other methods such as bracelets, hats, shirts and shoes can act as conversation starters as well. Necklaces tend to be fairly standard so getting a comment on one is usually a fairly good indication of interest unless you have a remarkable necklace. Any time you get that extra glance or start a conversation using any of these things you can think to yourself – you didn’t even have to buy a porsche.

What is it about grown men and women who feel it necessary to give cutesy names to their private parts? You know I’ve been running an adult dating site for more than thirteen years and I thought I’d dealt with my frustrations pretty well — until today.

Just as people with blogs moderate all their comments, we do the same thing on our site. We won’t publish anything one of us hasn’t looked at. The risks are just too high. So imagine my eyes rolling around in my head when I saw these comments go past my eyes earlier today:

Him: Welcome to the site, I think you’re really pretty.
Her: Thank you very much, you’re not so bad yourself
Him: What sort of man are you looking for?
Her: Interesting, challenging, respectful & funny. Sexy wouldn’t hurt either.
Him: Do you have more photos of yourself?
Her: Yes
Him: Can I see them?
Her: I haven’t uploaded them and I’m not sure I will just yet, I’m new at this.
Him: You could send them to me privately.
Her: I’m not a VIP member and neither are you, so I think emailing will have to wait.
Him: You could cheat and sneak your email address to me.
Her: I’m not a cheat – are you?
Him: No, sorry about that.
Her: I’m off for now, time for lunch.
Him: Would you like to see my pickle?

The woman wrote and asked how to blacklist the guy because he was obviously not her type.

Guys, some women and maybe a lot of women don’t want their first hello to be overtly sexual. This woman knew that if she had said she had more photos he would have asked for nude ones. Oh I know it’s possible that he wouldn’t have but my experience is pretty clear that a lot of guys visit dating/networking sites for a bit of titillation and if one woman doesn’t put out, they move along to the next one.

The best advice I could possibly give to any man or woman seeking a new relationship – make friends first. Once you do that, nature takes over and there’s never any stress or games playing. The guy above would have have a real chance with the woman if he’d talked about his interests, what kinds of things made him laugh — showing that he had the qualities of interesting, challenging, respectful and funny that she was looking for. Oh she also said sexy and that’s the only word he saw. Sexy doesn’t mean showing your pickle – or anything else that you normally cover up in public.

We all know how great sex feels physically and emotionally but what do you feel when the sex is, dare I say… bad. This sexy old broad doesn’t have a lot of experience with bad sex but I’ve talked with a couple of women recently who say it can sometimes be a problem.

One women said that she’d met a guy online and they’d emailed and chatted back and forth for a few weeks before starting to chat about sexy things. She told me that the guy could really turn her on with his words and she felt like she knew him inside and out before she met him.

“In my mind, I knew exactly how sex was going to be between us — I just knew,” she said. She went on to say, “Then the day came when we were to meet and he arrived not looking *exactly* like the photo he sent to me.”

She’d been looking forward to his visit for 3 weeks and when his looks didn’t quite match his photo she was willing to give him the benefit of doubt because sometimes we all have photos taken that make us look really good. They chatted for a while and went out to dinner and when they got home, she was expecting some hot stuff to happen. They’d been chatting, emailing and talking on the phone for weeks and weeks and she was ready for some fun in bed.

“I really like the guy but as a lover, he was really crap,” she said. “Kissing him felt like I was taking a tongue bath from a St. Bernard and his idea of foreplay was tweaking my nipples and grunting – I couldn’t wait for it to end.”

I thought, “wow, how disappointing it would be to have that happen after so much emotional energy had been put into anticipating a fantastic first meeting.”

It reminded me of my own first meeting after meeting my husband online back in 1994. Pretty much what she said to me about anticipating the meeting I could have said myself. Only my meeting was just perfect and hers was a disaster.

She asked me what I would have done in that situation and I have to admit I’m a very selfish lover. If I was her I would have said that it wasn’t working for me and I would have ended it. I don’t believe in pity fucks. I don’t think it serves either of you to “endure” a sexual experience.

What’s more important in our quest for sexual intimacy – the journey or the destination? When we start dating someone, I know that lust kicks in pretty quickly and we can’t deny human nature. I think some people aren’t denying anything.

I was reading a few comments and ads yesterday on SexyAds.com and for some it appears that the destination is the only goal. Comments like, “snap one off” and “tear off a quick one” and “I can keep going every 10 minutes.” Whatever happened to dating to get to know someone? I can’t believe that we have evolved to a point where the journey to a satisfying relationship isn’t as important as a quick roll in the hay.

The destination or orgasm has never been as important to me as how I got there. I think that’s what intrigued me about the tantric sex stuff that I read about the other day. I find the longer I work up to it, the closer we become and the whole day seems to go well. LOL TMI? probably.

So what about you? is it the destination – that release of sexual tension or is it the journey to get there that’s most important to you?