That was the first thing that popped into my mind when I received an email a few weeks ago from a guy who said his real name was Phil and he was having a tough time finding someone new for a long term relationship. I need to clarify long term relationship for Phil. He’s 82. How long term is a relationship gonna be for this guy?? Seriously, all I could think about was isn’t this a terrific old fella who doesn’t want to give up on love.

I said that to my husband with this dreamy look in my eye while I was thinking wonderful, romantic thoughts. He brought me down to earth in a minute when he flatly said, “Maybe he’s sick of doing the dishes and the laundry?”

Who cares? If this guy is having no problem navigating around the internet and can write a well worded email asking for help, that’s exactly what I was going to give him.

To be perfectly honest, we don’t have too many women over 75 (that was his request) on SexyAds.com. We do have a few though so I figured I’d do my best to help Phil out. There wasn’t anyone in his small town on SexyAds who was female and over 75, so what to do? Any woman over 75 who’s still looking for a partner and is on the internet probably would move for true love, right?

It turns out I was right. I helped Phil hook up with a cutie who’s 77 in Pittsburgh and they’ve been emailing. He would love to see her on video camera but she hasn’t quite worked out how to set all that up but she was able to send him a few photos. They haven’t met yet but he plans to make the trip to visit her in five weeks. Frankly, at 82, I think he should go right away before something breaks and he can’t make it.

I wish these two luck and hope they can find some happiness in their later years. It must feel the same to fall in lust even if you’re 82. Rock on, Phil!

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, ‘Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!’ Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, ‘Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?’

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. ‘Whew!’, says the leopard, ‘That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!’

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, ‘Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!’

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, ‘What am I going to do now?’, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says:

‘Where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!’

Moral of this story….

Don’t mess with old farts… age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.