For those of you who have blogs or websites of your own, have you ever looked at what terms people enter in search engines to find you? There are some seriously odd people out there, I swear.

I was having a look through my Google analytics this morning and I nearly dropped my teeth. Ok, my teeth don’t come out but if they did, I’d have surely dropped them. The first term was

Tickle her til she peed

I’ve never written about this so why did that hit come to me? I don’t know. That’s not the important point though. WHY would anyone search for that? Feeling guilty perhaps? If a man tickled me I’d dump him anyway but if he wouldn’t stop and he made me pee, I’d go after him and take him down. So if it was you searching for that term, take a hike!

Big mushroom head sexual pleasure

Now I’m POSITIVE that I have never written anything about that, ever. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever even thought about that phrase in my whole life and I’m pretty old. Is this a gay guy maybe? It must be because I don’t think any of my female friends would ever talk about big mushroom head sexual pleasure.

Here’s another one.. it makes you wonder where these people work, doesn’t it? I mean could you imagine working in the next cubicle to someone who searched for

Scary women sex

Seriously, what sort of person wants a scary woman to have sex with? If you’re wondering, I haven’t written anything about THAT either!

Finally, here’s one that I can relate to and it makes sense, however I have no idea where I have said this phrase on my site. It fits me though!

Just a little bit naughty

The place where I keep my blog’s server had a huge “oops” over the weekend and 8999 servers plus mine were out. I hate it and I hate that I’ll lose Google ranking and Alexa ranking but what can a sexy old broad do about it? Nothing. I hope you’ll keep coming back, especially if you have an Alexa toolbar.

To the folks at ThePlanet.com, thanks for getting us all back up and running again and I hope you and the rest of the hosting industry have learned a lot about disaster recovery and that we go back to 100% up-time please.

There I was, minding my own business, getting ready to make some blog posts and my site was offline. I have my own server that’s quite separate from the SexyAds.com group of servers because I live with a man who takes website security more seriously than his marriage vows and he hasn’t cheated yet. Sure enough, when hubby checked his mail there was an urgent email from our webhost saying that my server had been hacked and some stupid idiot was using it as an irc server. (No telling what else he or she was doing!)

So the webhost shut the server down to stop the hacker from doing his or her dirty deeds and that was ok with me. Once we found out how they got in (through a Mambo site for a local hockey club) we plugged the hole. Then we waited for the machine to come back online. And we waited. And we waited.

We waited nearly 7 hours and wrote about 8 emails. None of our emails were replied to until we said we’d look for a new host if that’s how their customer service was. I know it’s tough answering all the email they must get, but if we can answer most member emails within a few hours, so can they! They earn a lot more than we do! A company is only as good as the service you need when you need it most.

So let this be a warning for any of you with a Mambo site and you haven’t got the latest code on there. Idiots will get you too!