Players, are all around, we’ve all seen them but too often it’s after we’ve fallen into the trap of no escape. How can you be sure you’re not fooled by someone who’s only in it for a game? Now I know that there are players on both sides and there are even some couples who are players. Before you all start yelling at me while I’m cleaning and not looking, we get more complaints from women about guys not being sincere than we do from men about women.

No nerves. Most people meeting for a first date tend to be a bit nervous or awkward but the player is always in control. He has an air of confidence, he’ll look you in the eye and he’ll give you a prize winning smile. Who wouldn’t swoon over that? You won’t because he’s not sincere. You’re a notch in his belt and once he knows you’ve fallen for him, he’s off to his next conquest.

Elaborate, romantic dates. With a player, it’s performance dating all the way. This guy knows what women will fall for, that’s why Internet scammers are so successful. The player will plan events that some people only dream about, but as soon as you’re hooked, he’s off to his next “love”.

Do you bungee jump? The player is always looking for thrills, always ripping the lid off his adrenaline jar. That’s why you’re so interesting at first. For him, it’s the thrill of the chase and once he’s reached the summit, your player will find you boring.

Online players. We’ve all heard about the guy who sweeps you off your feet through email or chat. He seems just perfect. Weeks go by and finally you say those 3 little words and tell him you would like to meet him. He tells you sure thing, he can’t wait to touch you, to hold you and more. The date comes and just before he’s to arrive, there’s a problem. He’s so sorry but he can’t make it, but it will be soon. Another date is set and another disappointment. You keep on waiting because he is so caring and romantic online, you can’t imagine that he’s just getting his kicks online and has no intention of meeting you. Is he married? Not all online players are married but many are.

Always stick with a nice guy. He might be a bit awkward at first but he’s friendly, caring and he remembers things you’ve said or important dates. He shows up when he says he will. He isn’t always interested in what will make him happy. A nice guy has friends and he can mingle in a group of people who are more or less accomplished than he is. He fits in wherever he goes. He’s not afraid to say I love you when it’s time and when it’s time he says it enough to make you feel terrific. Finally, a nice guy treats his momma right. In fact, most of the time he likes everyone in his family. A nice guy has been brought up to have a good set of values. You can trust a nice guy.

I’ve always been fascinated when watching a clever flirter in action. The subtleties are amazing. A sideways glance, a look just above the objects eyes, then slowly, very slowly making eye contact. Then again, they wander around the person with their eyes and after 2-3 sweeps, they make eye contact. Only briefly do their eyes meet and then the flirter looks away. After a few times of the brief eye contact, they give a very tiny smile and give them the look that says I find you attractive. It’s amazing what a quick bat of the eyelashes can do for someone’s evening!

Flirting is a perfectly normal human behavior. It’s how people use their charm to attract a potential mate. If you REALLY want to get someone’s attention from across the room, flirt. It won’t always work but the odds are definitely in your favor.

Think of flirting as a game. It is a game of Temping and seducing and tempting again. Men and women are equals in the flirting game as we all love to be flirted with. It is an ego boost like no other. We all love to feel desirable and flirting works like nothing else.

In today’s dating world, the flirts get thte dates. They play the game of love to win. They know that compliments and smiles get into someone’s heart quicker than anything else. In my work I see men and women throwing themselves at each other with half naked photos and it’s all so unnecessary. Save that for the intimate moments I tell them. Flirt with one another – build up an excitement that won’t quit.

People ask me if flirting is in the eyes how can they flirt online. Well, the eyes are the window to the soul and from a distance you can do with words the same thing you can do with your eyes in person. It takes a little longer but it’s just as effective. We all have an ego and we love having people tell us we’re desirable. One flirt I saw the other day was “When I saw your smiling face I nearly tripped over my tongue, hubba hubba, you are absolutely perfect!” This was only a head and shoulders smiling photo. Can you imagine a woman NOT responding to that? Even if all she does is say thank you, she will not ignore it.

Get your flirt on !


LIKE THIS?


I see so many men and women complaining that they are alone and never get lucky finding someone to love. I want to smack the crap out of people when they say that. They’re setting themselves up for failure with an attitude like that. If you think there’s nobody for you, you’re going to be right on the money.

I love this poem about life that I think puts it all into perspective. If you don’t ask for what you want and you settle for what you get, then don’t complain. If you want someone new in your life, he or she is there for you, you just have to have confidence and belief in yourself that you’re desirable and worthy of being loved.

“I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store.
“For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
“I worked for a menial’s hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid.”
Jessie Belle Rittenhouse

Close your eyes and can you see yourself with someone new? Once you can do that, you’ve got the desire and it will happen. I don’t know how or where but I do know that the right person will come into your life.

If you’ve been wondering how to attract that dreamy guy at the tennis club or the cute chick that’s always at the bar for Friday night drinks, you have all the tools right in your mouth.

Flirting has always begun with a smile.

You look at them, you smile, they smile back, you look away. Then you catch eyes again and they smile, you smile in return and then look away.

On the third time you look at each other, make a very tiny smile, no teeth but continue looking at them all the while talking to them mentally. A small wave can’t go wrong at this point and then it’s up to the man to come to the woman. That’s just how it is.

Men might say they like to wait for the woman to come to them, but in reality it’s all about the chase. Men chase until the women catch them. It’s been like this since the days of the caveman.

Don’t sue me if it doesn’t work, but it has always worked for me!