Long distance relationships can work.

How do I know? I’ve lived it!

On Sunday morning, J asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with him. I’m on help desk duty at SexyAds.com on weekends so I hesitated for a few minutes before saying yes. I hate to leave even for an hour when I’m on the job, but something in his request told me I should go.

I’m really glad I did. FIFTEEN YEARS ago to the day that I answered his personal ad on the net. I can’t believe it’s been that long because I still find him really sexy and I love him to bits. What happened to the old belief that the passion dwindles but the love increases? It hasn’t happened to us and we’re not very unique, so that tells me that it IS possible to have love AND passion even after 15 years.

I met J when I lived in a little community east of Orlando, Florida. He was in Australia. It took us nearly 3 years to decide that we wanted to live on the same continent but not because we didn’t care for each other. It was a huge leap for me to leave my family and friends and move to a place where I didn’t know the customs and a lot of words are different and the lifestyle is different too.

Any regrets? Absolutely not. I still miss my family and new grandchildren have come into the world without Granny there, so there are sacrifices in any relationship where one person has to move to be with the other.

If you’ve been wary about pursuing a long distance relationship, take my advice. It’s much better to have the right person than a close person.

Have you noticed the increase in the number of people who want spanking to be a part of their lives and their sexuality? Domestic discipline is on the rise and it’s not just males who are the disciplinarians. In these relationships, one partner agrees that the other partner is in charge and there are punishments for every infraction of the rules agreed upon between the two.

I learned about domestic discipline years ago when I met someone who lived this lifestyle. She talked about all the spanking implements that her husband used when she broke the rules. She said that sometimes she’d do naughty things just to get a spanking because she needed the release that the tears would bring.

To be honest, I find the idea personally abhorrent but I’ve learned that it’s my own opinion because there are heaps of people who love it.

Have you been involved with spanking or are you in a domestic discipline relationship? How does it work in your relationship?

I’ve been doing some reading on infidelity lately because of a comment in an email recently. I was accused of being the “moral police” and frankly I was surprised. I began to think about how I DO feel about infidelity.

Frankly I don’t care what other people do. I don’t walk in their shoes and I don’t think I have the right to make any judgment. I know if my husband cheated on me, it would hurt to the core. I would hope that he could tell me he’s not happy or that his needs aren’t getting met and make a decision on how to go forward or end things. For ME that would be the respectful thing to do.

There are psychologists today who say some affairs keep a marriage together where everyone is getting what they want. The spouse keeps the same situation, the children keep the same situation and the other spouse gets sexual needs fulfilled. Of course there are others who take the high moral ground and say that any infidelity (even online chat) is wrong.

How do you feel about infidelity? Should people be required to give up their home, friends, children and lifestyle in order to get their basic human needs met? Should people be expected to give up everything or give up their sexuality?

Everyone everywhere says the wrong thing at the wrong time. We all do it and then immediately wish we could eat our words. I have asked an old friend when she was due only to find out she wasn’t pregnant.

There’s a song by an Australian group about wishing to live that day again and most of us can relate to that. When you’re in a relationship, there ARE things that you say that you’ll rarely overcome.

People ask Jayce and I if we ever argue and are we as happy as we appear to be and the answer is yes to both. Sure we argue. We live together and we work together which means we’re together nearly 24/7 and that’s a bit of stress on any relationship, but we seem to thrive. So what’s our secret we’ve been asked.

“Never say the words you can’t take back,” is our reply.

It’s easy to disagree without hurting the other person’s feelings and you’ll both end up feeling respected at bedtime. Concentrate on what you’re upset with, not with the person and you’ll never have to wish you hadn’t said those words.

You can mess up when she asks if you think she’s gaining weight. Even if you get it wrong, she’s not going to hate you. If you say in anger, “You’re nothing but a fat pig!” she’s never going to forget it. Never. Even if you work it out and things seem fine, some words last forever and she will never forget what you called her in anger.

All is NOT lost if you have made a really big oops but you have to hurry. If you’ve said something that’s going to linger for decades and you want to erase it, you have at best, 72 hours to make up for it and not have it etched on your sweetie’s heart forever.

1. Say you’re sorry and that you spoke out of anger and frustration and that you didn’t mean it.
2. Write down what you said on a small slip of paper and put it in your mouth and say that you would eat your words 1000 times if you could.
3. Nothing says I’m sorry better than chocolate.
4. Unless you’ve been REALLY bad, flowers are overkill.
5. Change the linen on the bed and tidy up the bedroom. Leave a note on their pillow telling how much you love them.