What’s more important in our quest for sexual intimacy – the journey or the destination? When we start dating someone, I know that lust kicks in pretty quickly and we can’t deny human nature. I think some people aren’t denying anything.

I was reading a few comments and ads yesterday on SexyAds.com and for some it appears that the destination is the only goal. Comments like, “snap one off” and “tear off a quick one” and “I can keep going every 10 minutes.” Whatever happened to dating to get to know someone? I can’t believe that we have evolved to a point where the journey to a satisfying relationship isn’t as important as a quick roll in the hay.

The destination or orgasm has never been as important to me as how I got there. I think that’s what intrigued me about the tantric sex stuff that I read about the other day. I find the longer I work up to it, the closer we become and the whole day seems to go well. LOL TMI? probably.

So what about you? is it the destination – that release of sexual tension or is it the journey to get there that’s most important to you?

How many women view porn on the net?

If you’d asked me that question 6 months ago I would have said, “Maybe a few,” but then I’d be wrong. Recently SexyAds.com conducted a survey about how the internet and dating sites had changed people’s ideas on sexuality.

Do women watch porn? Is flirting online “cheating”? Are people more likely to be more sexually adventurous since the advent of the internet? These are just some of the questions we wanted answers to.

We found some interesting results.

For example, 91% of the respondents view porn online, and some 56% find it at least somewhat satisfying. A greater pecentage of men than women vist porn sites, although a suprising 80% of women said they visit at least “One or two porn sites”, and only 19% of women said they did not find online porn satisfying. Even older women look at porn, although not as big a percentage as younger women (this is also true of men). 76% of women over 40 told us they look at porn, although only 44% found it satisfying. For women over 60, 78% look at porn and 53% found it at least somewhat satisfying.

The internet has changed at least some people’s views about sex and sexuality. 63% of people told us they feel more sexually adventurous since starting to surf the net, although only 31% said they actually feel sexier, with 38% being undecided about that.

The internet has made it easier for people to fulfill their sexual fantasies it seems. 75% said that the internet has made it easier to fulfil their sexual fantasies, (78% or women and 74% of men) while only 63% say they feel sexier (62% of men and 69% of women).

83% of people told us they thought online flirting was not cheating and 71% indicated they’d be more likely to consider an affair.

You can see all the preliminary results and breakdowns by gender and age here.

While we’ve compiled the preliminary results already, you can still take the sexuality survey here

A woman wrote to me yesterday about a comment she’d received on her profile. Now she says she’s a BBW and her photos show her as a BBW and she’s never hinted that she’s anything other than a sexy big woman. The guy asked her if she had trouble having sex and wouldn’t she be better off if she lost some weight.

Understandably she was upset. There was no reason at all to send a message, even if it started off with “I’m respectfully curious,” if all it was intended to do was put her down for her size. He ended it with, “Is there no way to tone up a little, for yourself and your pleasure?”

There are heaps of men who love having a bigger woman as their partner. If a big woman wasn’t what this guy wanted all he had to do was “click” and go to another profile. We’re all attracted to something different, that’s why life works so well. Who’d want everyone to be the same?

Imagine if big women started visiting profiles of bald men or or men who can’t spell or men who wear glasses and told them that they’d be more attractive “if only…” They don’t do that because they know the value of respecting another human being — knowing none of us are perfect. I figure any man who has a problem with my size wouldn’t be boinking me in the first place.

Big women get really fed up with people who say, “Oh, you’ve got such a cute face. If you lost a few pounds you’d really be a man target.” Any woman who’s over the average size will have heard a variation of that line. It’s like they’re saying big women aren’t sexy or big women can’t have sex in all positions. I do NOT want to read, “I’m pretty sure the best position for a BBW is on a treadmill.” Got it?

Where romance and sexuality is concerned, women are women. Tall women, short women, skinny women, average sized women and big and really big women are all the same inside. We all have feelings and sexual desires. I’ve heard from women over the past 12 years here who have trouble with some sex positions because they’re too short and I’ve heard the same thing from tall women.

There is no rule that says, “Be thin or be sex deprived.” It’s just not so. Sexy people who want to have sex with each other will find positions that trip their triggers. Nature has it all worked out for us.

A sexy, confident woman is a treat for a man regardless of her size. There’s someone for everyone so if you find one that doesn’t trip your trigger, move on to one that does. Everyone will be happier when you do.

I think there’s a lot to agree with in this idea that men and women in many instances approach their sexuality from totally opposite points of view. A man sees a woman and he instantly wonders how she’d be in bed. Don’t be surprised that women wonder the same thing but it’s way more complicated for them. Whether it’s our basic genetic programming or it’s our upbringing, women usually want to know a lot more about a man before she has sex with them. Some men just want to know if she’s breathing.

How does a guy have half a chance at getting laid? It’s really quite easy. If you know that a woman wants to talk before jumping in the sack, talk to her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Then 9 times out of 10, she’ll make the moves on you.