Gabrielle Moore wrote a book called The Female Orgasm and in it she talks about the myths surrounding a woman’s orgasms.

Women take longer to reach orgasm than men.

This is another common myth which has not been supported by research. The reason people believe this is that they don’t understand the female arousal pattern. Women’s arousal patterns are much different than men’s and, as a result, they are physically prepared for intercourse later than men are. The time from optimal arousal to orgasm is pretty much identical for both men and women. The difference is in how long it takes to reach that level of arousal. Because men often don’t know how to help their partners get to that point, it does seem to take longer. Once that’s changed, however, men find their partners reach orgasm more quickly and even have multiple orgasms in quick succession.

Women can reach orgasm more easily if her partner has a large penis.

Men who have worried for eons about the size of their penis can relax. The truth is that size really doesn’t matter all that much. Since only the first two inches of a woman’s vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is kind of useful during intercourse, at least from the woman’s physical perspective. In fact, when men are overly concerned with the size of their penis and whether it’s sufficient, their minds aren’t focused on pleasuring their partner and that is no way to experience female orgasm. A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average size of an erect penis measured from the tip to where it connects with the rest of the body is 6.16 inches in length. The girth of an erect penis is 4.84 inches on average.

Both of these statistics are come as a surprise to men and to women who have been convinced by our culture (and possibly pornographic movies and magazines) that the average size of an erect penis is eight or nine inches. That same Kinsey study actually found that less than 2% of men have penises which meet that requirement. Remember whether a man’s penis size is below, above, or just average, he still has the ability to help his partner reach orgasm and that is far more worthy of praise than a few extra inches of penis.

Have you been with anyone who bought into either of these myths?

When we think of etiquette and manners we think about everyone sitting at the dining table using the proper knife, fork and spoon, no elbows on the table, napkin in the lap and not chewing with your mouth open. Sexy also has its own etiquette and you ignore it at your peril. Okay maybe peril is too strong a word for this — nobody is going to boil you in oil if you goof up but anything that can improve your sex life shouldn’t be ignored.

For instance if his favorite position is doggy style and you can only get off if you’re on top, it’s the smart sexy guy who’ll defer to her most of the time because of the added benefits he gets when he watches her take off to the moon.

Is it cool to fake an orgasm? In my opinion, not very cool at all. Let’s say you had sex with a guy in the doggy style position and you didn’t orgasm — you should be honest and tell him that you didn’t reach the big O and would like to do things differently next time. Make sure you say you enjoyed it but it just didn’t get you the golden ring. ALL men want you to have an orgasm. It’s something in their DNA that likes to know he’s a big stud. If you’re not telling him what you need, it’s hardly his fault, is it?

If you meet someone for sex and you have a great time, is a follow-up phone call expected? YES! Can I say yes twice on this one? If you’re the guy, even in these modern feminist times, the guy is expected to call and say he had a nice time. It’s also okay for a woman to call and say the same thing but it’s not as important as the woman receiving the call. It’s affirmation that she’s not considered a tramp. Double standard? Maybe but don’t screw this one up. Call.

Should oral sex be reciprocated? Absolutely! Any woman giving a blowjob shouldn’t settle for being the only one giving. Turn about is fair play I say.

Spitting or Swallowing? Okay Miss Manners says neither is more polite and it should be up to the person performing oral sex as to whether there’s a swallow or spit. What’s most important is that the one getting the blow job should respect the giver’s choice. Insisting on swallowing and then ending up with a gag reflex or barfing all over the bed or floor is going to end up with no more blowjobs. She’ll be embarrassed and she won’t want to go there again. If you’re a spitter, just bring a towel with you.

Who provides the condoms? Either one. Don’t leave the decision on who supplies the condom til you’re all hot and bothered. Everyone should have some in the bedroom.

What happens when your partner does something that is a decided turn-off? If you’ve been with this person a long time it’s perfectly okay to say, “That’s really not working for me.” If this is a new partner, instead of being blunt like you would with someone very familiar sexually, you could say, “could you move a little further up?” or “That feels wonderful, could you do it a bit longer?” If you’re REALLY turned off, say so. “Sorry, that’s not doing it for me so can we try something else?”

What happens if one of you says the wrong name? If you have been together for a long time and you’re having an affair, you’re pretty much screwed on this one. If this is a new relationship.. laugh, because it IS funny.

What if I don’t want to see this person any more after we’ve had sex. DON’T just not call. That is so un-classy. You liked this person enough to be naked together, be nice enough to be honest. The person is all grown up and can handle the truth. Maybe this person feels the same way – regardless, it’s closure and time to move on.

As if we needed a reason why 2011 should be a sex-filled year, we have more reasons anyway. Maybe we should make a list of what sexual fantasies we’d like to have come true this year?

-Men who have sex 3 or more times a week cut their heart attack risk in half.
-Sex will also reduce a man’s chances of suffering a stroke.
-30 minutes of sex can burn about 200 calories.
-Sex helps the brain produce chemicals that help to mellow us out.
-Sensual touch followed by great sex helps to release sleep inducing endorphins.
-Following sex, your sense of smell is improved. It only lasts a short while so have sex often.
-Sex is free unless you’re a very unlucky politician.
-Sex twice a week can boost your immune system by 30%.
-Semen contains zinc, calcium and other minerals that can fight tooth decay.
-Sex tones the pelvic floor muscles that support a woman’s uterus, bladder and bowel – resulting in better – urinary control.
-After a nice orgasm your body produces a nifty amount of oxytocin which helps alleviate pain from arthritis.
-An orgasm can also help with menstrual pain.
-Regular sex can tighten your tummy muscles.
-Women who have sex at least once a week will have a more regular menstrual cycle.
-Touch associated with sex can sooth frazzled nerves.
-Sex is cheaper than flowers in making up after a fight.
-Thinking up new ways to have sex improves the imagination and helps to delay alzheimers.
-Seriously pissed off? Don’t yell and complain – have sex. It does more to release tension than yelling.
-Sex can relieve a headache.
-The more often a man ejaculates the less likely he is to develop prostate cancer.
-Sex is the best excuse for buying very expensive lingerie.
-The best way to get better at sex is to practice often.
-If you want more cuddles, have more sex. Cuddles after orgasm are the best.
-The more sex a man has with a woman, the more he loves her.
-Having sex makes you happier than having money. A recent study showed that having more sex was more important than earning an extra $100,000 a year.
-The clitoris is the only human organ whose sole reason for being is sexual pleasure – don’t let it go to waste.
-An active sex life slows the aging process

I think you need to add more of these or a fantasy or two.

Can you tell if a woman is really enjoying having sex with you? If you’ve ever seen the movie, “When Harry Met Sally,” sometimes it can be tough to tell if a woman is faking it.

You could come out and ask but the woman is likely to dodge the question if she fears she will hurt your feelings..

A negative reply will depress the man and cast a shadow over the relationship and women don’t want that to happen. So even after asking, the man is no closer to the truth.

But there are ways of finding out if your lover is enjoying sex, in ways that do not rely on words or pinpointing the problem. What’s really important is to identify what positions and techniques she prefers and which are wasted in bed. Maybe she likes to be on top, or maybe she just likes starting off slow.

If you pay close attention to how her body responds to what you’re doing, sooner or later you will understand what she really likes. Experiment with positions and techniques and remember what made her moan out loud.

This is nonverbal communication; it requires you to watch out for subtle signs like body movements and moans that tell you to keep doing whatever you’re doing because it feels good to her.

If she tries to guide you toward a certain part of her body, go with the movement and read her reaction. If she appears bored with your performance and is less than enthusiastic in her response, then do something else. There are a lot of things to learn about having sex and there must be at least a couple of positions or techniques that she will like. A lot of women will prefer to have no sex at all than to have unsatisfying sex.

Once you learn to read the signs, women are not that complicated and by learning new things to do in bed you won’t have to live with doubt. So, go ahead and try something that looks good to you and see how she reacts to it. She could be pleasantly surprised by your initiative and aroused by the novelty. The first steps are a bit harder to make, but once you can see how much she is enjoying herself, you’ll want to take her even further.