Will the debate about size ever come to any resolution? This week I’ve had two emails about size – one about a man’s penis and the other about a woman’s vagina. What’s just right? What’s too big? What’s too small?

It’s different for everyone I suppose. Here’s one of the emails I received:

“I was thinking about this today on my drive home. Women generally tell a man that it doesn’t matter, and in reality, i think this is probably true. Unless the guy isn’t any bigger than an average pinky finger.

Not that i don’t like a big cock… don’t get me wrong. I love looking at them, feeling them, dreaming about fucking them. and that’s about as far as it can go.

I mean how many women can really handle a huge cock? I found out for myself that my eight inch vibrator is a really tight fit. It bordered on painful.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that an average cock, as long as it’s good and hard, is more than enough.

Makes me wonder how many good fucks those really large guys get.”

I think this woman speaks for a lot of women but there is an equally large group of women who love a big cock. So the trick is to find the best fit.

Now on to the vagina. We all know that the vagina is elastic and can accomodate nearly any size penis. I mean, come on, compare the length and width of a penis to a baby and there’s no contest – and the penis will fit. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be comfortable. Here’s the other mail:

“Why don’t the women who say they insist on a big dick admit that they just have a loose pussy? Haven’t they learned to exercise their pussy muscles and grip on to any size cock?”

Interesting opinion but I have to say it again – there are perfect sized dicks for every pussy regardless of its muscle tone. To me the question is, how do you match one with the other? It’s okay for guys, they can tell how big their penises are but how does a woman know if she’s got a floppy pussy? A vibrator never tells and no man who wants to have sex with that particular pussy in the future is going to say, “geez, that was like throwing a bowling ball down a hallway.”

Casual sex can mean many different things to many different people.

It can be a pastime for those who are afraid of commitment, a “fill in” for those in-between relationships or it can even be the icing on the cake for those who “want their Kate and Edith” too.

Sorting out exactly what type of a casual relationship we’re contemplating can be a bit confusing. Over the years we’ve seen several categories that members use to identify what they’re looking for when they say they’re interested in casual sex.

There are probably more but these will do for a start:

* One Night Stands – just tonight and never more.
* Booty Calls – this is a past lover NOT to be confused with SWNS below.
* Sex With No Strings – Casual sex with same partner – no long term commitment.
* Friends With Benefits – Be careful with this one, some women use this when what they really want is a long term commitment. It means that you do more than just sex. You might go to the theatre or a movie or bowling and end up in the sack.
* Fuck Buddies – This is full on, strap on the dildo and get the hot wax – we’re headed to the orgy kind of messy fun sex. Not for the timid or tame!

Now at first glance, you may think that these are all one in the same, I mean sex is sex right? Yes but with a bit of variety.

Men tend to understand the “ground rules” of casual sex far better than women. Men invented casual sex so they have product knowledge. They find quick more disposable relationships to be a very satisfying way for what immediately ails them!

Women tend to still confuse sex with love and as Tina Turner sang, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?”

However, after years of being force fed the “good girls don’t do that” baloney, the tables are turning. More and more women are now seeing the benefits of these disposable relationships too. No dishes, less laundry, no kids, no obligation — just good sex and lots of variety.

‘Tis the spice after all!

So, before you partake of the sexual buffet that is “casual sex”, you must first know what is for you and what is not. Manners are required if you are to be successful at this. More women than ever before are signing on to the casual sex queue but they still have requirements you must meet. Ask any one of them and they’ll tell you what category of casual sex they’re looking for. It’s all good.

Carrie in the TV show Sex and the City asks, “Why shouldn’t women enjoy sex like a man?” With the rise of equality between men and women, is it possible for women to have sex like a man purely for enjoyment with no emotional ties or commitment?

If you’re a woman, can you do it? The reality is that some women can but many women can’t. Is having sex like a man what women should aspire to? While some women can have an orgasm with a total stranger, the lots of women need to feel something in order to reach orgasm. Men will never say, “Did the past 5 hours mean nothing to you?” but some women will say it and others will feel it.

In women, orgasm releases a flood of oxytocin, also referred to as the cuddle hormone and it also helps women feel a sense of attachment. That’s why some women feel regret the following day because the sexual memory is hollow. There is a group of researchers who believe that a woman releases less oxytocin if she has multiple sex partners. That would explain why some women have no issues with casual sex. This has not been scientifically proven.

Masters and Johnson published their classic book, “Human Sexual Response,” way back in 1966. In it they state that sexual response for both men and women consist of four stages: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution (the time where many men think job’s done and roll over and start snoring). Since that time, sex researchers have concluded that the sexes do not have the same four stages and that men and women are more different than they are the same – sexually speaking.

The current view is that women put much more emphasis on emotional intimacy and relationship satisfaction resulting in a much more complex sexual response. Her relationship satisfaction, her self-esteem as well as any previous sexual experiences with this person can contribute to the success or problems in a long-term committed relationship. A woman’s lack self-esteem and perceived value to her partner can result in her not wanting sex at all.

Back to sex like a man – it’s not that most women should or should not have sex like a man – the question should be regardless of how much she wants to, will a woman’s factory settings allow her to enjoy sex like a man at all?

I received some topic suggestions from someone and this one caught my attention. People can enjoy sex in any of the 24 hours in a day but is there a time that YOU prefer to enjoy sex more than others? I talked about this with some friends at a webmaster’s conference a while back and it was really apparent that women with no children at home liked morning sex. Women with young children need to get up early, fix breakfast, pack lunches, make sure the children are off to school and then get themselves ready for work. One woman said, “If I had morning sex on a regular basis, I’d get fired for being late and the children would be in permanent detention for tardiness.”

It will be interesting to see if there are times of the day you feel sexier than others. Myself, I’m a morning person and luckily I’m married to someone who likes morning sex. Okay, he likes noon sex and afternoon sex and before dinner sex and after dinner sex but morning sex is never a quickie. Because we work for ourselves and at home, there’s usually no rush. How about you? If you could choose (and you can) what time of day would best suit you for sex?