Have you ever sat there with nothing on your mind but what people historically used as aphrodisiacs? Wonder no more because here’s the list!

Chili Peppers
Ready to heat things up? Try adding chili peppers to your seduction menu. The effects of the chemical capsaicin in these sassy vegetables mimic sexual arousalsweating, increased heart rate, and flushingand may cause you to mistakenly attribute the reaction to feelings of passion for your partner.

Garlic
Ezra, the Jewish priest and scribe from the fifth century B.C., commanded the Jews to eat garlic on the Sabbath eve to activate sexual drive.

Honey
One of the oldest sweeteners known to man, honey has long been touted as a cure for sterility and impotence. While these claims are questionable, honeys fructose content aids stamina and provides a slow and steady release of energy, explains Dr. Barry Swanson, a food historian with the Institute of Food Technologists. Hindu tradition calls for grooms to have honey on their wedding day, and sweet liquid gold is tied to love in everything from the Bible to the Kama Sutra.

Pine Nuts
As far back as medieval times, pine nuts have been used to stimulate the libido because they are rich in zinc, a key mineral for maintaining male potency. Pine nuts first got their aphrodisiac reputation from the effort required to get them. Theyre nestled in the cones of the pine tree, and the best were said to come from the Himalayas, says Martha Hopkins, author of InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.

Walnuts
Ancient Romans threw walnuts instead of rice at weddings because they associated walnuts with fertility.

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.”

I’ve been finding quotes in my travels and a few of them jump out as truths, especially where online dating is concerned. I look at some peoples’ ads and I think, “get over it and create the life you want, you’ll never move forward if you’re always looking back.” Then today I found this quote and it says exactly how I feel.

If you’ve gone through a rough patch in life or you’ve ended a shitty relationship or someone else has ended a relationship that you enjoyed and your feelings are trampled – we all understand. Everyone’s been through these situations at least once. We learned that it’s not the end of the world and that our lives have turned out immensely better in the end. So if you’re thinking you’ll never find anyone or that you’re so lonely you can’t stand it – tell yourself that you’ve felt sorry for yourself long enough. Turn around, face the sun AND the future. You create your life and if you want it different, you need to behave differently. Times are tough in most places in the world but it doesn’t necessarily mean that the small world YOU live in has to be tough.

Then I read this quote this morning that speaks volumes to me about the root causes of most all relationship breakups.

“So many relationships spoilt by our tendency to become mean when we are in fact hurt.” Alain de Botton

Rather than tell our partner or spouse that they’ve hurt our feelings, we hit out in anger and frustration and then problem escalates til there’s nothing you can do but be miserable or end the relationship. What a pity, when only a bit of honesty about your feelings could have not only made the situation better, it would have strengthened your relationship.

“Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.” Sophia Loren

Isn’t that true? We scroll through the profiles, ads, photos, videos, forums, etc. and we select people based upon the 50% that we can see and the 50% that we perceive about what sort of person they are. If we look at a sexy photo we assume that this person likes sex and is passionate and we look at the smile and we perceive that not only are they sexy but they’re open, friendly, welcoming and warm. Our job is to ensure that the 100% that we perceive is in fact reality. From personal experience I can attest to the fact that in many instances, it’s possible to be absolutely right.

The truth is, most women do. I think horny is a permanent condition with most men so I’m not sure about their standards.

This was the topic of conversation with a few of my friends while we were waiting for a meeting to start last week. One woman, we’ll call her Cheryl because she’d kill me if I wrote her real name here, said that since her divorce she hadn’t been dating much and she was really craving a bit of intimacy. We all gave her some advice and then Barb spoke up.

“Lower your standards, honey, get a little and you’ll be just fine,” she said.

The rest of us blinked and said, “lower your standards? ewwww.”

“She’s not going to KEEP him, she only wants to borrow him for a little while and well, he doesn’t have to be a brain surgeon like her ex in order to be loving and passionate in the sack,” Barb replied.

You know, there’s probably something to that. One night stands have never been for me. Maybe it’s my upbringing or my genetic makeup but for me, if a guy is worth sleeping with, he’s worth more than one night. That’s why I had difficulty with Barb’s suggestion to Cheryl. I realize that it’s MY perceptions and what’s right for ME that’s coloring my opinion.

Would you drop your standards if you really needed an intimate cuddle?

Is cybersex that you can have in a chatroom or on a video cam *real* sex?

I’m asked that a lot and my reply is always the same, “When you engage in cybersex do you get turned on? Can you climax through the words or images that another person is sending you over the Internet?” If you can say yes, then it’s real sex. It might not be intercourse but then a lot of sexual activity isn’t intercourse.

The next question is nearly always the same. Is cybersex adultery?

That’s a trickier question to answer because it depends on how the relationship is. If it’s a guy having cybersex because his wife refuses to have sex with him – is that adultery? Should he be expected to give up sex for the rest of his life because she has? If a woman is having cybersex because her husband works all the time, is rarely home and when he is, he’s exhausted – is that adultery?

My opinion is never the right answer – it’s just my opinion. I think we are all sexual beings and if we aren’t getting any intimacy, passion or sexual validation from another person, our happiness and contentment with life suffers. Remember, that’s just my opinion.

A LOT of people enjoy getting frisky on the net and if they weren’t receiving sexual gratification and a feeling of sexual intimacy from it, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it. Heaps of men and women get together daily to explore their sexuality in a safe environment. For me, it’s all good.

Let’s say you’re married to a wonderful person in every respect except that he or she doesn’t enjoy sex – would you be prepared to give up sex forever or give up the relationship on order to find a partner who likes sex? What if the new partner was great in the sack but shit as a person? Always a tough call, I know.