Do you get hotter when your lover talks dirty to you? Most people do. It’s naughty and it releases some of our inhibitions, especially for women. I know it’s tough to ask for dirty talk if you’re shy but seriously, nobody is going to think you’re weird if you let them know you secretly crave honest, dirty talk while you make love.

Dirty talk can also rev the engines before hand with a quiet whisper in your lover’s ear saying something like, “I want to bend you over the table and fuck you from behind and drive you crazy. The raw animal sounds you make drive me insane.” It’s a way of keeping the intimacy between you throughout the day.

If you’re asked to talk dirty and can’t think of anything to say, don’t sweat it, just say what’s in your mind. It’s better to be safe than sorry so maybe you start out by saying tamer things and with tamer language and slowly moving on to the naughtier talk.

Decide what voice you’ll use. Try whispering, try screaming, try everything possible to vent out your mood, doesn’t matter because we all have a dirty talk voice in there. Try it out and find yours.

“What if he bursts out laughing when I think I’m talking really dirty?”

So what? There is plenty of time for laughter while having sex too. It’s never about being right. You’ll never get sex right. You don’t want to get sex right because then you wouldn’t have to practice so often.

What are your best dirty talk lines?

When you’re driving home after work, do you lust for the one you’re with? You should.

I see many married or attached people coming to sites like ours and I have to wonder what happened to the lusty feelings that these two people once had. Why did they allow it to die?

Good sex doesn’t have to be complicated. In the beginning of most relationships couples may stay in bed for hours at a time talking, laughing, having sex, kissing, talking, having sex again, daydreaming, making out and maybe even having more sex. Desire, arousal, and passion – well, they’re seemingly effortless. No complications, couples just enjoy erotic fun and intimacy. So why can’t we keep it like that?

The old saying familiarity breeds contempt could come into play in some relationships. We forget why we fell for our partner in the first place. Can we get that feeling back after being hurt or angered? I don’t know. I do believe that we can get past most unpleasant bits in our relationship because underneath it all is a deep love and respect for one another.

I think it’s really easy to take our partner/spouse for granted. I think we all do it from time to time. Some way more so than others, I might add. Most of us live predictable lives and surround ourselves with familiar people, objects and places. In the beginning it was all new and exciting. Nothing predictable happened because there were so many things to discover about your partner. We stayed in an excited state of mind. We need to keep in mind the value of exciting, pleasurable sex.

It is important to realize that every single day you make a choice about your relationship. Every day that you stay with your partner you “re-choose” them whether consciously or unconsciously – but you do it. Perhaps it’s only to say, “I’ll give it 3 more months,” but it’s a choice none the less. If you think about going home and you feel no lust whatsoever for the person who’s waiting for you to arrive, it’s time to do something about it. Don’t let life slip through your fingers while you wait for things to get better. You can’t change people, you can only change yourself and that changes everything.