Sex is not a weapon
Nothing gripes me more than listening to friends of mine use sex as a tool to get what they want. This morning a friend of mine was telling me all about her new patio and I should come right over to see it, so I did.
“I’ve always wanted a patio like this but darling hubby never had the time, so when I got sick of waiting, I refused to have sex til it was done.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My friend is a wonderful, caring person and this is so unlike her. Cautiously I began questioning her about why she used sex to get what she wanted.
Turns out that she does it a lot.
“Don’t you lose out on sex too?” I asked.
She told me that of course she did but how else can a woman get a job done without it? Uhh.. if he doesn’t do it and you can’t do it, hire someone to do it, that’s what I do. Apparently hiring out these jobs is too expensive for her.
She could sense that I didn’t agree with any of this and she was dead right. I’m okay with not having sex because you’re really not in the mood or you’re too tired or too something else, but to use it to make your lover jump through hoops is just not right.
It would be wrong to say that only women use sex as a weapon because men do this too. My ex-husband was a champion at it. He wouldn’t say do this or no sex but I knew when I was being “punished”.
Communication is the answer. For my friend, I think if she had gone to her husband and said how badly she wanted the patio and offered to help him sort out the materials list, get the stuff delivered and acted as his gofer, they’d have finished the job tired and horny.
I know what you mean but listen to this. I overheard my wife advising our daughter that she should refuse sex with her husband until he agreed to go to the beach in florida rather than go skiing for vacation. I wonder if she’s done that to me. uh maybe I should ask how many times.