Two worst sins in a relationship

Jealousy and clingyness. Maybe it’s clinginess, I can’t be bothered worrying about how to spell it, just know that it’s one of the two worst things in a relationship. If either of you are clingy or jealous or heaven forbid both, the relationship is doomed. End it right now because it’s never going to get better. Put on the hair shirt and start complaining about how miserable you are so you can get over it sooner. Perhaps you aren’t guilty but you know someone who is. We all know someone who’s jealous or clingy and it’s not a pretty site.

I have a friend who’s nutcase jealous when his wife is out of his sight. He’s a weirdo about it, honestly. If she and I go out for coffee, he must call every 15-20 minutes to see what she’s up to. I suggested leaving the phone at home just once and she said he’d go apeshit if she did. I had to swallow my words but inside I was screaming, “YOU IDIOT!! DUMP THIS LOSER!” What a control freak wearing a coat of jealousy.

My friend Donna is clingy. When her live-in Matt is at home, she’s by his side nearly all the time. If he goes to put out the garbage, she helps him. If he wants to surf the net, she gets a chair to sit beside him. If he goes to the throne room, she sits on the edge of the tub so they can talk. She needs to know where he is all the time and what he’s doing. It would drive me insane not to have one private moment at home. I suppose it’s possible that Matt doesn’t mind but I’d smack her upside the head a time or two just for good measure. When she’s away from Matt she’s just fine, although if it’s time for him to come home, we have to hurry so she’s there when he gets home. She wants to spend every moment she can with him. Mr. Flirty would roll his eyes if I followed him around all day. He’d wonder if aliens had taken over my body. We each have our own lives but we treasure the time we’re together. I want to be with him because I love him not because I need him.

If you’re insecure in your relationship, fix that. It might well be that you’re like my friend and there’s nothing to be jealous about but he’s jealous anyway. If that’s the case, wise up and fix yourself because there’s nothing to be jealous about.

If you’re clingy, get a life. Seriously. Find something to do that’s fun for you and you alone. Go to a class, join a bowling league, get involved in local politics, volunteer your time at a hospice or meals on wheels. There are heaps of things you can do to be complete all on your own. You’ll be much more fun to be around.