When do you go “exclusive”
I have a friend I’ll call Dave. That’s because his name IS Dave. He won’t mind me calling him out on this because we’re really good pals and he knows how I feel. He and his significant other Christy have been “going out” for 3 years. They don’t live together but I know she’d like to do that. Dave has a real problem with commitment. His parents divorced just before he turned 13 and it really upset him a lot.
In his mind if his parents who his considered to be perfect got a divorce, what chance has he got?
But three years? How long does it take for someone to make up his mind? If you’re in a similar situation to Dave, wake up and smell the coffee! If she’s been “the one” for the past 3 years, surely she’s a keeper and if she’s a keeper, commit to her.
Dave says he has in every way but words.
“I am still with her and I haven’t gone out with anyone else but her for 3 years, isn’t that enough?”
Uhhh.. no.
What if one day she decides she’s waited long enough and starts dating someone else? If you haven’t committed to her then maybe she thinks you are only holding on to her until someone better comes along. This is a tough one for most women to deal with. She’s wasting her best years on you and for what? Maybe nothing.
I know, I know, she’s having a good time. She’s also ready to put down roots and make a life with someone.
Who’s right? Probably they both are but Dave’s gonna lose a real sweetie in Christy because she’s at the end of the waiting line. Poor Dave might end up with only the dog for a cuddle.
Take a tip from Dave’s experience. Don’t lose what might be the best person for you. You’ll live the rest of your life in regret.
Well said. I know too many people who are commitment-phobic, mostly because they really are holding out for someone better. These people don’t seem to understand that they’ve fallen prey to the greener grass syndrome, and that hottie who looks like a dream from afar will be just as much a nightmare as anyone else after a two-hour commute in rush hour with two screaming kids in the back seat. At some point, you need to realize that no one is perfect, including you, and if you can find someone who can put up with you and love you in spite of yourself, maybe you could try extending the same acceptance to them.
Singletude